Thursday, May 26, 2011

New Ideas

I've been playing with the idea of starting a new blog, mostly because I currently associate this one with a ton of negative energy. It's not so much the blog, per se, but some of the people and events I tie in with having had this blog. Quitters (like me, though I've never actually quit), defeatists, people who are scared of food.

For the last year, I've been attempting to just learn to eat. Eat correctly. Eat healthfully. Not focus on crappy "diet" food like fat-free ANYTHING, because that rarely exists in nature outside of your produce aisle or the farmer's market. And I find myself wondering, as I browse through blogs on my blog roll, what people are actually putting in to their bodies? Do they know? Do they even care? Or is the end result just to be smaller or perhaps even "thin?"

I can't be a part of that community anymore. I find little to no difference between eating your problems and eating a bunch of plastic to redirect your problems, because you know what? Those problems will still be there when you're thin. I am 100% living proof of that.

Sure, losing the weight will give you some confidence to start solving them, but sometimes it's one or the other. You can "diet" or you can leave your relationship. You can "diet" or you can go to school. Focusing on both is near impossible, UNLESS you start forgiving yourself and understanding that FOOD is not the enemy. NOT SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS REASONABLY is the enemy. Not dealing with feelings is the enemy. Eating to not feel empty is the enemy.

You see, the real problem with being an overeater is that you can't quit. And yes, I have the balls to compare it to alcoholism, smoking or drugs. I've had problems with all of those, not necessarily personally, but with directly connected people that I love and see on a daily basis. When you're a smoker, which I am, you can quit and be done. It won't be easy, by any means, hence why I am still a smoker, but smoking serves absolutely no purpose for your body. It is a stress reliever, but so is taking a walk. There are replacements. There are substitutes. You do not NEED to smoke.

You NEED to eat.

You must eat, every day. You must fuel your body. So when overeating becomes a problem, you cannot escape it. Oh, some people try. Starving themselves on diets of <1000 calories. Well, that's a problem too, because our bodies need calories to function. Our bodies need REAL food. They need fat. They need protein. They need those things to make our blood move and our legs function. You cannot be scared to eat.

I associate less and less with weight loss bloggers. While I have weight to lose again, I tend to resonate more with those in maintenance. Those people who are just eating and eating healthfully. Who have accepted that exercise is now a part of their life and will always be because that's just the way it is. Some of them even enjoy it. Some of them even eat REAL FULL FAT CHEESE (gasp). And so I associate with them because I will not beat myself up if I go out to eat and order the burger. You know why? Because burgers are delicious and all I have to do is eat a little lighter the next day to even things out, and I can do that. Because I can't have everything I want, and I'm mature enough not to throw a fit about that. If I had everything I wanted, I'd also have a whole lot of things I don't want: like heart attacks.

SO. While this post is targeted at no one, I beg you to think about what you're doing. If you think ANY of this ends when you hit goal weight, you're very sadly mistaken. At most, you can add back 400 calories a day and maintain your weight. That's not a lot. That's like a scoop of ice cream, friends, not a whole pint. You'll NEVER get to do what you once did and not suffer the consequences. Can you handle that? Can you eat fake cheese and processed diet bars every day for the rest of your life? Can you pronounce the laundry list of ingredients in those things?

It's time to wise up and move on.