Sunday, February 28, 2010


Trying to prepare for the week, especially with GlutenFast2010, I was creating some of my own "convenience food" to replace the quick snacks I became accustomed to (like delicious and filling Kashi Bars).

I spent some time with my scale and a box of snack sized bags.

tons of 3 point servings of cinnamon-sugar coated almonds

All of that packing made me a little snacky. You would think I'd just reach for the almonds I was playing with, but I decided to go for one of the new treats I got at the PriorFatGirl meet up I talked about yesterday.

Cookie Bites from Kay's Naturals

This totally decent sized bag clocked in at only 2 points (110/2/3) and packed 10 grams of protein! WOW! (and yum)

actual size shot of the bites

I was pretty sad to see that the boxes of single serving packets were sold out on Kay's website, especially since Jen, a prior fat girl, has a super sweet discount code through April 15th! (just enter "priorfatgirl" when checking out for 30% off your order!)

Sweet tooth satisfied, I figured I ought to make some "real" food so I stuffed a turkey tenderloin cut at the bottom of a roasting pan FULL of delicious veggies.

The downside? I'm an idiot and put all these things in together, knowing full well the veggies shouldn't have entered the picture until the last 1/2 hour of roasting time. Dumb. They were ruined by steaming and were horrible. I am going to toss them into a soup though, so it's not a total loss.

How do you rescue a meal you were totally excited for yet totally ruined?

Saturday, February 27, 2010

prior fat girl(s)

Well ladies of MN and those outside of the awesomeness that is MN, today was the priorfatgirl blogger meet up. Prior and Pre-Prior fat girls from the metro area gathering at the Beat Coffeehouse to mingle, reflect and share our weight loss journeys.

I took a bunch of pictures, so here's the tour.

Adorable fancy name tags. I officially felt like "a prior fat girl."

Acting crazy before coffee.

With my BFF Jessica

And we finally met LISA! (the broad broad)

I made sure to have my water handy next to my skim latte (and blackberry).

Jen, a prior fat girl, starts us off with a welcome!

Lindsey, another prior fat girl, shares a bit of her story

Amanda, another prior fat girl, gets some words in too.

And I attack Adrienne, my super fav MN blogger

And Jessica and I get in with our twitter pal Lisa!

Better pic of me and Adrienne!

Jen and the prior fat girls handed out index cards where we (privately) wrote our greatest fear in regards to our respective weight loss journey

We brought them to a table at the front of the room

And table by table we got up and we read them aloud, anonymously

My view from the front as I read. You can see Sarah from Sarah Gets Healthy

and Missy (in the blue) from The Ups and Downs of Losing Weight

There was even a raffle. We "earned" tickets for bringing our favorite recipe, as well as *working the room* with the other bloggers

The goods up for grabs

Jen, drawing tickets for the raffle and a cute shot of Sarah

When all was said and done, Jessica, Lisa and I took a 1/2 mile walk to Tatters for their 50% off sale. Lisa is from Wisconsin, so it only made sense to drag her shopping.

Lisa, a Minneapolis girl?

I had a great time. We left with goody bags, most of which I had to give away because of new Gluten Free lifestyle, but there were some (actually a FEW) items in there that I could eat. I shoved the rest in Jessica's bag so I wouldn't be tempted but I'll be sure to review the few gluten free items I grabbed in the next couple days.

Wish you had been there!


GF. Gluten Free, or at least yesterday it could have stood for a "good friday."

I know it's silly because if being gluten intolerant is my problem, the effects would not be noticeable after only 36 hours of being GF, however, I felt amazing yesterday. The *ahem* problems I've been having didn't come out to play, and I had a lot of energy and charisma.

I hope I can keep that momentum going while I attend the PRIOR FAT GIRL MEET UP today! How exciting to be in a room of 40+ people here in the Twin Cities in various stages of their weight loss journey!

I will be back with pictures!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Time For Change. (TMI involved)

After endless arguments, I've self-diagnosed myself with a gluten intolerance.

Here's a little TMI for you: I'm a fart factory. I have an awful stomach, and I get bloaty and gassy and I'm pretty much disgusting to be around. This generally happens (at least as I've been tracking and noticing) after I eat wheat products. It's time to smash this.

I'm going on a gluten fast. That's right, gluten free. I've set a one month goal, but I'm hoping this is the cause of my distended stomach (endless) and stankass gas, in which case, I'll be GF forever.

I made a quick stop at the store tonight to pick up a couple swaps and treats of the gluten free variety, and I'm actually somewhat excited. I think for the most part, I'll be eating clean. Just protein, vegetables and dairy at every meal. This is a fantastic way to eat! It cuts out all of the crap that sends me off the deep end either way.

I have 2 girlfriends who are gluten intolerant, and I've tapped them for their endless knowledge, and I've also found a whole host of blogs that I'll be enjoying. If you feel like following along, here they are:
And so, friends, I invite you to join me on this journey as I start eating clean to determine if I am, in fact, intolerant of gluten. I know it's a weird twist, but if for no other reason than perhaps this will be a good lesson to all of us in how to get creative and stay satisfied while eating clean.

Do you have any food allergies? Was it difficult to adjust your eating habits around them?

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Whoopsie Daisy.

In an effort to cram as much awesomeness into one day, I had a free hour to meet with one of my best friends for coffee to talk about something really important to her. Because of that, when I got home, I was too hungry to photo document my delicious dinner and simply made it, dished it up and fed my sister and I.

One of these days I will do a tutorial of something delicious. I'm not very good at following through with that lately. Thanks for sticking by me even though I'm unreliable.

I had a fantastically ON PLAN day. Something struck me yesterday in BitchCake's post. Something about "eating beyond taste." I tried to listen to myself today and decipher what I was really hungry for. I felt snacky around lunchtime but knew I wasn't actually hungry. With Bikram in the plans just an hour and a half from then, I decided to cut up a ton of fresh fruit and garnish it with vanilla yogurt and a dash of cinnamon. I FUELED myself instead of FED myself.

I want to try to live this way also. I'm not going vegan, and I can't wholly give up convenience food, but I at least want to eat what my body needs.

My goal for the rest of this week (through Wednesday) is to continue to hit my 8 Good Health Guidelines daily. That means drinking water, taking my vitamins, getting in correct servings of veggies, fruit, lean protein, dairy and whole grains as well as conducting some sort of physical activity and avoiding alcohol and sugar.

When I plan my meals around the GHGs, I'm rarely hungry and I'm generally full of energy.

Have you ever thought of "eating beyond taste?" Eating things to fuel your body rather than feed your cravings?

Sunday Walk.

I took my first totally functional walk this morning to a gas station about 5 blocks away to grab the Sunday paper for my coupon clipping adventures.

I'm having a gorgeous weekend morning, lingering over coffee, the paper and the procrastination of making a delicious and hearty breakfast. I already started that process - putting together my favorite black bean/mexicorn/red onion/cilantro/lime juice salad. I guess it's more of a salsa. I'm not sure what to call it other than DELICIOUS. It's so great for tossing in a flatout wrap, scrambling with eggs, or topping a yummy cut of fish. Multi-functional and awesome.

Tonight I'm making my favorite healthy sloppy joes for my sister and I and I'll be documenting it with photographs so you can make it at home! They're so delicious, freeze well, and the whole family loves them.

How are you relaxing and making today "easy like Sunday morning?"

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Efficient Kitchen.

I'm reorganizing my meal plan today. I have the cooking itch, so I'm going to prepare a few dishes and freeze the leftovers. This will be my first attempt at bulk cooking for one. However, today is turning into a ridiculous errand day.

Everything I want to do requires a new item. I don't have enough tupperware to freeze individual portions, so I'll need to stop at Target (but I have a coupon!). I also don't have a saucepan any bigger than the tiny one I use to reheat coffee and soup.

My gym clothes smell like armpits after today's ridiculous Step class, so I'll also need to stop off at the laundromat and wash all my darks - which is more than fine with me as I have a small stack of magazines I haven't had time to read.

However, since I'm doing so much cooking and packaging, I thought it might be a good opportunity to take some photographs and do some tutorials of some of my favorite dishes (that are totally family friendly and easy).

I'll post them this coming week.

Enjoy your weekend!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday Randomness.

Happy Weekend Kickoff Day.

Yesterday's 6:30am to 8:00pm (which subsequently turned into 9:30pm) day from hell is over. I slept incredibly well last night. I gauge "good sleep" on whether all I have to do to make the bed in the morning is flip the comforter back from it's little triangle fold rather than figure out where the top/bottom/entire comforter even is.

I did veer a tiny bit off plan yesterday when grabbing some Hershey Kisses during my 3rd meeting of the day, but there were far more tempting choices just staring at me from the middle of the table, so I consider this a success.

I had a girlfriend over who wanted to "learn my process" of planning out meals. For the 2nd time this week, someone has taken pictures INSIDE my fridge. I find this totally odd, but... if it helps someone grocery shop, I'm all for it. We eeked out some meal plans for ourselves through Monday to aide with what could be weekend disasters, had some Prosecco and shared some good talks.

I'm off to the gym right now to get in some great stress-busting cardio before 2 more meetings today and then WEEKEND! So I'll leave you with some of the interesting things that I read through my fantastic blogroll.

Off to the gym!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Scmweigh in.

I'm a up a little bit this week. Guess what? Not phased by it.

Last week, starting with Wednesday's trip to the Hotness Party (and subsequent pit stops for more drinks and more food), I thought I was done for. Right around Friday, when I tried to turn it around, I "screwed up" again. It was only 1/2 of Saturday and all day Sunday that I really started to turn this week around.

And I really did.

I had a pretty rad week. I tracked every day, every thing, I got in a ton of activity and I said "No" to myself when I wanted things that didn't fit in to my plan. I also realize that my weigh in fell after 3 back to back ridiculously strenuous strength training workouts. So while I'm not trying to make excuses for my little .6lb gain, I fully realize that since I was just reintroducing difficult workouts after a period of "taking it easy," my muscles are most likely broken down and retaining water, waiting for the time to build back up. For proof, check out my sweaty picture on Jen, a prior fat girl's post today.

Today, I'm faced with a challenge. I am completely scheduled out from, well, right now until 8:00pm tonight. I packed my whole fridge in my lunch bag essentially, I have....
  • Carrots (0)
  • Honey Tangerine (.5)
  • Light String Cheese (1)
  • Blueberry Pom Applesauce (1)
  • Banana (2)
  • BAS + homemade vin (1)
  • Turkey Sandwich TOMS style (3)
I'm also bringing a diet ginger ale just in case I get a sugar craving, which I undoubtedly will on such a long day, and I plan to pick up Subway on my way to the later board meeting so I won't snack on the caramel corn that one chair always brings. Damn caramel corn.

I am hopeful that today's breakfast will sustain me. I took a packet of Kashi Go Lean hot cereal in Truly Vanilla and mixed it with a packet of Carnation Instant Breakfast. The end result looked pretty gross, but it tasted... also pretty gross but together it had a lot of protein and fiber. I washed it down with coffee anyway.

What's your strategy for SUPER LONG DAYS out of the house?

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Wrapping things up.

Well, tonight marks the end of my Weight Watchers week, so I'm wrapping things up.

Barring some kind of wrestle with the freezer tonight, I'll be ending the week with ZERO WPA/flex points and 22 out of 31 Activity Points. It's been a while since I racked up the Activity Points so that felt amazing.

Here's how amazing it felt.

That's a lot of sweat.

I submitted that picture to Jen at Prior Fat Girl. She routinely collects pics from all of us weight loss bloggers sweating our asses off (literally) at the gym.

Here's what I ate the rest of today.

Kashi Roasted Almond Crunch bar (3)

crumbled up into 1/2 cup Dannon Light and Fit (1)

Spaghetti Squash (0) + Zucchini (0) + Spinach (o) + 1 tsp Olive Oil (1) + 1/4 c Newman's Own spaghetti sauce (.5)

Here are some delicious looking/sounding recipes I ran across on my blogroll today:

I'm turning in early (again) to watch Time Traveler's Wife.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.


I woke up to this guy's face giving me the "I really have to go" sign.

So off we went while the coffee was brewing.

coffee + 1/4 c Almond Breeze (.5)

Quaker Lower Sugar Oats (2) + 1 tbsp Justin's Almond Butter (2)

Del Monte No Sugar Added Peach cup [in water] (0)

Banana (2)

super delicious wrap (4) + BAS (o) + Shrimp (1) + homemade vinaigrette (1)

Holy yum. I put basil hummus inside this wrap, topped with arugula, spinach, thinly sliced cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, shaved carrots and turkey.

Since I am focusing on adding more protein this week, I decided that even though there was turkey in my wrap, I'd add some shrimp to the salad to bulk it up.

As a quick reference to how much food I eeked out of that lunch, that plate in the picture above is the DINNER plate to the regular salad plate I use for all of my other meals. It's approximately 12" diameter. HUGE.

Fat Tuesday.

As a recovering Catholic, I don't celebrate the Lenten season by giving something up for 40 days to see how "the other side lives." Rather than spend 40 days out of the year without one of my modern conveniences, I simply choose to live a life of service 365 days by volunteering for a variety of causes, giving away 15% of my already TINY nonprofit income and working with the homeless on a daily basis. I'm not knocking people who celebrate Lent, mind you, but rather asking why some of you might put so much emphasis on this train of thought only once per year.

The concept of Fat Tuesday, however, always fascinated me. Spending the day and night eating rich and fatty foods to prepare for 40 days of "fasting." It's interesting to me because Fat Tuesday is essentially how I have treated my diet in the past.

Every night was Fat Tuesday.

"Oh, I'll just start over tomorrow, so tonight I might as well eat this entire tub of ice cream."

There's not much different from the mindset of an overeater to that of someone "eating" in preparation for less food. We are biologically built to seek out fatty foods to sustain us in times of famine, but people... this is the Western World in the modern age. If you're reading this, you're not likely to ever experience a time of famine.

I've spoken with my Grandmother about times in the Depression (something people are comparing our current economy to). They would ration a bag of oats or flour, a small handful to each child, which would then be chased by as much water could be found and tolerated to puff the stomach up and give the illusion of full. People these days do this to themselves by means of FullBars and stapling surgery.

One thing I don't think we realize is how blessed we are and our many blessings have led to that very thing that curses us.

Why not spend this Lenten season fasting from entitlement, even if mentally, and consider your life if the most you had was a handful of oats and flour and a dirty glass of water. Maybe, for some people, our motivation can come in the form of guilt. Rather than finishing everything on your plate because "children are starving in Africa," take that as an opportunity to eat less of that processed packaged food and send it to your local food bank.

Anything with an expiration date that goes beyond your next birthday should kind of freak you out anyway.

Or, maybe this Lenten season, you simply decide to give up the ghost and really crack down on your weight loss journey because that way, you WON'T sacrifice time with family and friends later in life when we'll all need each other the most.

What is your take on Lent?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Finishing up the day.


Just... wow.

Tonight I was very excited to hit one of my favorite classes, Circuit Training with Brad. Brad is fun, bubbly. His whole class is like a dance party.

Brad's out of town.

Enter Snype.

The only thing I could think was "WTF? I am going to die." He's outfitted in camo, he's gigantic. He's probably a body builder and he's probably not going to smile at me and knock fists like Brad does.

He has a whistle.

The first 5 minutes of class would have been enough for me. My heart rate was essentially flying off the charts. I had to stop a few times just to let it get down to 90% versus 100%. I think I could have had a heart attack, literally. Snypeattack.

The whole class was less than fun, and I found myself screaming and grunting in pain. Luckily, I had two of my favorite workout buddies on either side: other Nicole and Darci. We pushed each other, we laughed (I cried) and we survived. And now, I might just be a little bit in love. I am ridiculously full of endorphins. I think this might have been considered a bootcamp Olympic style workout, not for the faint of heart.

I'll be back.

Here's the rest of my eats for the day, coming in with 1.5 points to spare as I head off to bed (early).

almonds (2)

2.3 oz Chicken Breast (2.5) + Just for One veggies (0) + Spinach with Olive Oil (1) + 1/2 c Quinoa (2) with 1/2 c Prosecco for dinner drink/dessert (2)


What's the hardest workout you've ever (accidentally) done?

Non Negotiable

When I was really successful, consistently losing weight, going above my daily points was not negotiable. Granted, the WW program at that time did not allow you to bank your Activity Points to be used at any time throughout the week. If you earned them on Tuesday, you used them on Tuesday or they were gone.

I'm trying to get back in to the mindset that not eating according to my meal plan is an option. When I have too many options, I get overwhelmed and go crazy.

Yesterday I threw away my delicious granola. Expensive granola. MMMmmm granola. But it's a trigger food for me, so away it goes.

I'm back on track today, feeling fantastic. I've already cancelled much of my social calendar for the week so that I can set myself up for success. I know if I can have just ONE good week to get my footing back and see a loss, I will be motivated again and stay motivated like I am now.

Here's what I've had so far today (all according to my meal plan)

coffee + 1/4 c Almond Breeze (.5) [with a side of Valentine]

1/4 c egg beaters (1) + TOMS (tomato, onion, mustard, spinach) (0) on Arnold Sandwich thin (1) + Strawberry FiberOne yogurt (.5) + Apple with cinnamon (1)

banana (2)

BAS [big ass salad] (0) + 3 oz turkey (2) + homemade vinaigrette (1)

light string cheese (1)

This evening I am meeting up with "other Nicole," my fitness buddy, for Circuit Training at our gym. This is one of my favorite classes, so it's sure to solidify the positive feelings I have about recommitting today.

Why does it always seem like Monday is the best day to start over?

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Ok Ok Ok.

Ok. I lied to you.

I lied to myself too. I did NOT do well yesterday, though my motivation is genuinely high.

How does this work? How can I be so determined to "do the right thing" as I stuff multiple "light" pizzas into my face on one day? (without taking pictures of any of it, even though I said I would.)


Friday, February 12, 2010

Let's Make A Deal.

I need accountability.

I have made that apparent in so many ways. I set myself up for many successes, and then I slink away at the first chance of failure... thus inviting that failure to take over the situation.

Accountability. Here's how I work it.

Joanna. A fellow Weight Watcher and friend. Together we have many systems in place to stay on track. For the last month we've been playing a game called "TRACK ATTACK." We divulged our WW e-tools sign in information to each other and at any given time we spy on what the other is doing. Are they tracking? Are they eating well? Do we have any suggestions? Mostly just celebrating the fact that we are, in fact, tracking.

Well lately, Joanna and I have been over-eating. I started it and she followed suit. This week we have a bet in place that however many points the other goes over their weekly target, that is how many dollars they owe the other person. I do NOT want to part with my precious money, so this is helping me stay the course.

The Firm. With accountability help from my friend "other Nicole" and the fact that Blue Cross Blue Shield of MN (my insurance company) reimburses me if I make it 12 times a month, I have many people supporting me to get to the gym. My investment in membership (which is ridiculously higher than my previous gym) is also a great source of accountability. It makes me WORK for that BCBS reimbursement each month. Also, I like "other Nicole" so much I don't want to let her down.

You Guys. Even though you support me through thick and thin (which feels great), I don't want to disappoint you either. I want to show you this CAN be done, that we're doing it... that I'm doing it. When you come here each day, read my blog and leave a comment, it inspires me to work harder. I don't want to spill my guts here for nothing. I want to be a success story and I need you all to see that.

And now... Photos. I have to go back to photographic evidence and accountability.

I'm going to play my favorite "get back on track" game: What I Planned vs What I ate. Here's today's plan:

Breakfast: Coffee + 1/4 cup Vanilla Almond Breeze (.5), Lower Sugar Maple and Brown Sugar oatmeal (2)

Snack: Small Banana (1.5), Kiwi (.5)

Lunch: BAS (big ass salad) + 3 oz Turkey (2) + 1 tsp Olive Oil (1) + 1 tbsp Balsamic Vinegar (0)

Snack: Emerald Almond 100 Calorie pack (2) + Small Skim Latte (2)

Dinner: Root Vegetable Tagine over Cous Cous (4) + Mixed greens with Newman's Own Spray (0)

"Dessert:" Gin and Tonic x2 (6)

Total Points Planned: 21.5/22

I'll be divulging photographic evidence of whether or not I followed my plan, any improvisations, substitutions or just straight up mistakes. This is a weekend of highly social events. Tonight, I have been roped in to being the Bachelorette for a local version of The Dating Game: The Punk Rock Dating Game. I wrote a bunch of funny hipster-themed questions and I'm treating the whole thing more as an improv/theater class than an actual dating game. I was told I'd get prizes and drink for free, so I'm in to it.

(I'll have pictures of that too)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Click Click Boom.

Something clicked for me last night.

Somewhere between my Weight Watchers meeting and eating butter soaked scallops with my favorite eating buddy, I wised up.

Betty, a fellow member of my meeting, received her 25lb medal. This is months, maybe years in the making. Betty is a wise lady. Her motto is "I can suck at this, but I can't quit."

Last night, during celebrations and the receipt of her medal, Diane (our fearless leader) shared that she noticed when something "clicked" inside Betty. The moment she realized "Hey, it would be a lot more fun to come in here and celebrate losses every week than to grieve a gain."

I want that to be me.

I've been doing this for over 2 years, and for the past half of that time frame I've been slacking off. I've become an expert in maintaining the same 5 pound weight range and that, to me, says I've learned. I've figured it out. I know how to eat to remain now.

The factor is that I'm not finished. I haven't finished what I set out to do, and as a semi-accomplished person (or I'd like to think so) this means a lot to me.

Betty wasn't the only one getting her 25lb medal last night. There were many celebrations. 10% goals reached, 5lb stars handed out left and right. I found myself rubbing my 10% keychain with 25lb and 50lb medals attached and realizing that I honestly can't remember the last time one of those celebrations was for me.

Well, soon, my friends.

I'm back in the game.

It was all confirmed by Jack Sh*t's post this morning when he asks "Why not?"

And so today I planned my meals, and I planned tomorrow's meals, and I thought up strategies for the crazy social obligations I have this weekend that mostly revolve around desserts and alcohol. I'm comfortable saying no. I'm comfortable with the fact that I resolve to see this goal through, and no temporary fun is going to get in the way. There is plenty of fun to be had at the finish line (within reason of course. We all know this journey never really ends.).

Will you join me today? Quit the tomfoolery and really buckle down? We're in this together.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Wave.

There is a wave going through the weight loss blogging community right now.

It seems everyone is feeling malaise, bored, ho-hum, this is hard, I'm screwing up left and right.

I'm there too.

Oh trust me, there are plenty of ladies and gentlemen who are not, and we need to be sure to turn our actions around. Or I can see them coming after us with torches and pitchforks. Their Motivation Mob is going to shake us by the shoulders and give us a slap into reality. We can't do this to ourselves!

Well, there is no Motivation Mob. I bet if there was, they'd be really cute though.

So, like everyone else, I "screwed up" yesterday. I was volunteering to make fundraising phone calls (everyone's worst nightmare) for the organization where Jessica works. Making fund drive phone calls is pretty terrible, and usually no one likes to call up strangers and bother them during the dinner hour, which is precisely why I felt I needed to volunteer. It's important to step up when no one else will. So, Jessica warned me there would be pizza and cheesecake - so I had to devise a plan.

Pizza is comfort food, so I made up a little dish of spaghetti squash with sausage sauce, one of my favorite comfort meals. I also packed cinnamon rice pudding (yum yum) which is actually more favored by me than cheesecake which is simply too rich. I had it all thought out. I was ready!

However, when I got there, it was only me and 2 other volunteers. 3 pizzas had been ordered. I know usually people say they feel bad turning down food, in this instance, I actually did. I did not want to see the money from this nonprofit go to waste. The person coordinating this activity was also pretty pushy. It's all an excuse, I'm aware, but I ended up eating pizza instead of the dinner I packed.

I instantly regretted it... and then I ate a cookie.

And I regretted that so I ate 3 more cookies.

After all was said and done, yesterday's total of -12 points for the week is now -25, which is actually pretty good. It is very lucky I had a large amount of points left for the day because Pizza Points are no joke.

Anyhow, all of that is over and done with. It happened yesterday, there's nothing I can do about it. Today is a new day. I think being a part of the Motivation Mob is realizing that every meal is another chance. Motivate yourself to make that happen. Don't beat yourself up, there are other mobs for that.

I go back to the office today after many many many days off. It will be great to get back into a real routine. I already have my gym bag packed and I intend to go directly from work to the gym. I have my new Neighborhood Meeting tonight, so I will meet the council and hear about happenings. I hope to very involved.

I hope the Motivation Mob tackles all of you. We're holding our first annual meeting on Saturday February 27th and you can come.