Thursday, April 30, 2009


I am so incredibly pleased with my outlook today.
I had some time this morning at work with little else to do, so I grabbed a fresh planner and started plotting out my fitness calendar for the month. I had the basics of static meetings and important obligations that couldn't budge, so I scheduled in gym time and classes around it.

I am going to attempt to double up on activity until San Francisco. The plan is to go to the gym directly after office hours, just for about 30-45 minutes and come back in the evening for a class or go to a class elsewhere.
This allows for 3 days of Strength Training, 3 days of Couch to 5k, which I'm trying again - starting at week 5, and 6 days of Cardio. Wednesdays are always off because it's meeting and WI day, and that's just what I've always done.
I've already had over 100 oz of water today, did my 45 minutes at the gym, washed the dishes and I'm almost done with a small stack of case notes I needed to enter for work. When I finish up the work, I'm headed to the Midtown Global Market's produce exchange to pick up some fruit and see if the spices I bought there a year ago are still around.
Tonight I'm headed back to the gym for Zumba and then Justin and I are going to be in - working on bikes, watching movies and sharing a bottle of wine. Tomorrow morning Eli is in a school play so we'll be headed to that. Should be adorable. He's a narrator because he's such a good reader!
In the spirit of things, I've made some May goals.

May Goals
  • Track EVERYTHING. No more lying, underestimating, etc. I am the ONLY one who sees my tracker and it makes no sense to be dishonest or leave things out. I'm only hurting myself.

  • Earn at least 30 APs per week. With my new plan, this should be a breeze.

  • ENJOY VACATION! I am going to San Francisco in mid-May for a little less than a week, but leaving for a camping trip the day after we get back. It will be a lot of time away and a lot of really indulgent food and that's ok. I have not left the state of Minnesota in over 4 years. San Francisco is just Justin and I, camping is a family trip.

I'm feeling excellent (still!) and really really confident that I can pull this off.

I had a request to add more pictures, and I will certainly be more consistent with that in the days/weeks to come. In the mean time, here are a few.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Like a freight train.

I am just barreling through this week. My mood is constantly uppity because I am taking care of myself and eating well. I forgot how good this feels. I'm also hoping my face will stop breaking out like a teenage boy.

Yesterday I doubled up on activity, since I decided to get to the gym in the afternoon and then had Pole Dance class at night with Allysen. I earned 10 APs in the process, which was a great feeling.

I have used all of my flex points and APs, but with that extra activity, I was able to get out of the red and I earned a pudding cup for dessert.

I hope to be able to report a loss at WI tomorrow, but if not, I still feel really great for how hard I've worked this week.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Like the little ball inside the spray can.

I'm rockin' it this week.

Though, it's hard to explain why when I go into detail about how I now have NO flex points left and only 4 APs left, but it is Sunday and I haven't been to the gym yet today.

I have been tracking every little thing. All bites, licks and tastes, all of my meals and drinks etc. Getting back in this habit REALLY keeps me on track. It truly is amazing how fast 22 points get away from you. I blew almost all of my flex points when Justin and I went out to dinner on Thursday night at the Red Stag Supperclub. I had a lemonade type drink, which I estimated to be 6 points. Housemade lemonade, mmmmmm. We shared a pickle plate that was FULL of pickled deliciousness. Pickled okra, pickled beets, pickled ramps, yum yum. There was also some thinly sliced summer sausagey thing and some cappicola ham. I only had one piece of each of those, but I tracked it. We shared seared pork belly with english peas and pearl onions, all totally drenched in butter. I added 1/4 cup of butter to all the nutrition info I could find for pork belly, even though I made sure to pour all the drippings at the bottom of the plate onto Justin's share plate. For dessert we had rhubarb crisp with honey ice cream. I tried just a little bit of the ice cream and then promptly pushed it over to his side. I managed to control myself and only had TWO bites of the dessert before offering the rest to Justin, who immediately shoved the whole thing in his mouth, terrified I might be joking.

It was such a great dinner. It was fun to share the food. We have a hard time with that because we love good food so much that we want to order 2 entrees so we get to share more. This will probably be the end of that.

Otherwise, I have had GREAT workouts this week. I haven't been burning ridiculous amounts of calories because I am keeping them short, but I have been PUSHING myself and really working hard in the time that I give myself to be at the gym.

Today, in about 15 minutes, I'm headed there to do a very quick strength training circuit, 45 minutes of cardio and then I'm going to go to BodyFlow, which I haven't done in a very long time. I'm excited to have that hour of relaxation time. I used to really love BodyFlow. I don't know why I stopped going.

Even though it's crossed my mind, I'm not expecting a big loss this week. I've still had some flubs, like last night when I made pizza rolls for the boys because it got late so fast... and I made myself a Lean Cuisine... but there were extra pizza rolls and I ate those too. On top of my Lean Cuisine, making what would have been a 5 point dinner with a salad into a 12 point dinner. Lame, but it happened and I tracked it.

I hope you are all having a great week. This weird weather is a good time to get reacquainted with the gym.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Weight Tracker 5000

I just wanted to stop and sing the praises of the new Weight Watcher's e-tools Weight Tracker.

I think a portion of my new-found motivation comes from seeing this:

Instead of this:

There was a time when I was on a roll, when I really really knew what I was doing and doing it well. I CAN get back there. I'm there right now. Being able to look at the process as a whole, rather than ONLY for the last 3 months as opposed to the old tracker really helps to bring me back to a place where I need to be. The focus is on activity and tracking. Those are my 2 goals this week.

Activity Goal: At least 60 minutes (can be staggered) of moderate activity daily. Plan being..

Wednesday: OFF (only because I was feeling sick)
Thursday: Zumba
Friday: Strength Training 1, 30 minutes cardio
Saturday: Hiking
Sunday: Strength Training 2, 30 minutes cardio
Monday: Pole fitness
Tuesday: Strength Training 3, 30 minutes cardio

I have adopted 3 separate Strength Training circuits. Not only will it ease my boredom at the gym, but it will definitely start to keep my muscles on their toes.

Tracking Goal: Just write it all down. Literally. In addition to tracking with e-tools, which has been my preferred method, I've adopted a food diary notebook that will stay on my person at all times. I am completely a pen to paper person. I make lists all day long, I love writing. This might be a welcome change to really get me back in the habit of tracking every little thing. After tracking yesterday, I'm amazed at how fast my measly 22 points are gone when I don't pay attention. Insanely fast. Lighting speed. Keeping a running count will be helpful to keep things in order.

Those are both simple goals, and I can totally handle them.

I am preparing my grocery list today, and making my meal plan for the week. I am going to try to plan out meals, make 2 of them tomorrow during the day and package everything into serving sized tupperware. I am completely aware that because I am a constant meal-skipper, too busy to remember to eat, that I will open the fridge and grab whatever can either be shoved into my mouth, or shoved into my mouth with the least amount of prep time. Being able to toss a tupperware in the microwave is priceless to me. Being prepared is key.

I am also going to load up on lots of fruit. I tend to eat a lot of vegetables, which is great, but every so often, I neglect them and they go to waste. I know I love to eat cucumbers as snacks, and tomatoes with oil and balsamic vinegar. Those 2 veggies take a little while to go bad, so they're on the list. I'll be discontinuing a lot of the bell peppers for which I have good intentions but they rot away in my crisper drawer. This time, it's apples, pears, and grapefruit.
I was chatting with someone at the meeting last night who said "50 pounds, that just seems so impossible," and I remember being there. But now, it feels like it would be easier to lose 50 pounds again than to lose just these last 10.
But I can do it. I just need to help the scale go in the right direction (which is down, by the way) and I know exactly how to do that. It's all about the execution now.
Here I go.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Back on Track... again.

I had a fantastic workout yesterday after an otherwise pretty horrible WW week. I have officially become the kind of blog you stop following when you're sick of the ups and downs.

I had a revelation on the Stepmill yesterday, as I was cranking the intensity up to level 15 (there are only 20, and 15 is insane!), If I can just give it my all for 5 weeks... I could be there.

The honest truth is that I haven't given it my all in at least 6 months. I haven't been 100% aware of my GHGs, I have had had weeks where I tracked everything but didn't stay within my points. I haven't come close to my level of activity from last year... nothing.

If I promise myself that for 5 weeks, I am 100% dedicated... I could probably come really really close to me goal weight.

The key here being that I have obviously learned how to maintain. I have been bouncing around the same 3-5lbs for almost a year now. While it's incredibly frustrating, that's a pretty amazing accomplishment for someone who steadily gained 15lbs a year for the last 4 years. I'm also fully cognizant of the fact that I CAN do it, because when I first re-joined Weight Watchers in December of 2007, I was a power house. I was at the gym everyday, sweating it out, giving it everything I had. I was making new and interesting foods that always had veggies and fruits. I planned, I mapped my progress, I was making progress and I felt powerful.

I know I can do it.

I wish I could have had this revelation starting with the Meltdown rather than with only 2 weeks left, but I know those 2 weeks will make a difference. I have been upping my activity each week as I struggle to not be embarrassed when I turn in my activity log. I have been racking up new and interesting things to participate in. I can do it.

Today, however, is WI day. I skipped my meeting last week because I was cowardly. I am going this week, but I'm not excited about it. I know that no one cares what I weigh. I'm not SO self-obsessed that I think anyone would judge me for the 3lbs I've gained since last WI (which is actually a 2lb loss since last week). But, I got my TOM this morning, and I just know that it's not going to be good.

Today, probably all day, I will be contemplating using my No-Weigh-In-Pass. It's not really worth it, but I also don't want to feel defeated.

In other news, I invited my mom back to my meeting. We had a very serious talk on Friday afternoon that resulted in tears from both of us. The honesty floodgates opened and I simply told her she HAD to do this. She has to. We're terrified for her health, and I need her around. If coming to my meeting is the only thing that works, then so be it, but it will be a positive hour of my week no matter what, or I will ask her to leave again. She accepted all of this information well, and I was surprised because it was no easy pill to swallow. I pulled a lot of cards out of the guilt deck, and I feel bad about it, but sometimes... after you've exhausted all the options, you just go back to good old fashioned Catholic Guilt.

and you know what?

She walked this week.


And she grocery shopped, planned meals and learned how to use the Recipe Builder online to create some of her favorite meals in the tracker.

I'm proud.

Back to the point. I am starting my own Meltdown Challenge starting today. 5 weeks, 100% dedication, with forgiveness for the inevitable ice cream breakdown. It's going to be difficult, considering it's MN Fashion Week and there are lots of cocktail parties to attend, but you can't tell the difference between diet coke and a cocktail as long as you stick a lime wedge on the glass, so that will be my plan.


Saturday, April 18, 2009

Thoughts from the Desk. All tied up.

I was reading an article, as we all do, about "the secrets to Weight Loss." They're not secrets, actually. They never are. Since the very first weight loss article I've ever read, I have not learned anything new. I have read the same idea, over and over, in another persons words - yet somehow, they only seem to sink in here and there.

Right now, I feel like I'm trapped. Trapped with these same 5 pounds I keep losing and gaining. If I were simply trying to maintain, I would feel amazing that I have been able to stay within the same 5 pounds for 6 months, when I get to maintenance, I think I'm going to rock it. On the other hand, I'm still trying to lose, but it's harder now. It's harder to tell the difference, the weight is coming off slower, I lose motivation, I get stressed and then I divert back to old habits.

I recognize what I'm doing, and I'm self-sabotaging. There's a million reasons why, and I have pinpointed some of them. They're all completely neurotic and probably untrue, but so is most any other thought that runs through my head these days.

The Meltdown has really served it's purpose for me so far. We're nearing the close of the 3rd week, and well I was eating horribly last week, I felt a very urgent need to keep my gym schedule up so that I wouldn't let Jessica down, even though I know she could care less about this stupid contest. But I think that was the point, another place to be held accountable, since apparently, even though it's my lease favorite thing in the world, I need to be micro-managed.

I'm headed off to the gym in a minute. It's time to break the chains. The weather is fantastic, I'm going to ride my bike there, do some weight training, 15 minutes of the step mill and ride home. It's best for me not to try to force too much activity into it. I've found that on the days when I promise myself I will only have to work out for 20 minutes, that I end up working very hard for those 20 minutes and then continuing on for about another 15-20. The times when I want to be there for an hour or more, I want to leave after 20 minutes.

I just keep thinking about my test results from the body fat analysis, and I want to see some sort of improvement. If I can see anything, a decimal of a difference, I will know that things are happening inside me even when I can't see them. Blind faith in your weight loss process is difficult.

Here I go.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Chocolate Crusader Chronicles

You might have noticed my absence from the blogosphere in the last week. Yes, it's because I wasn't doing well WW-wise, with Easter and all, but also because I lost my internet connection for a few days.

Easter was difficult. I am from Minnesota, the land of cheesy potatoes. Cheesy potatoes that I just can't say no to. And wild rice soup, and ham, and more cheesy potatoes. I will admit that last week, I literally was in the red by more than 100 points. No joke. That's WITH flex points and the 18 APs I earned.... We took home leftovers and I had my own mini-Easters for the 2 days to follow the actual Easter and I ate enough chocolate to make an entire elementary school mad with sugarsyndrome.

I have been back on track as of Wednesday, and I feel fantastic.

One point of inspiration was filling out my Activity Log for the Meltdown at the Y yesterday, after Zumba, and seeing that I got 100% credit (perfect week) for my activities. The week before I got 9/10, which is still great! Maybe we are going to do better than we thought! Go Team Fempire.

In other news, I got my latest issue of Fitness Magazine, and there's a very interesting toning routine in there. I know I've mentioned before that I think Fitness Magazine is the tops, I love their ideas, tips, everything about it. I'm going to give this new routine a try and hope it reignites my love of exercise because right now - I'm so bored with it.

I have to play to my strengths when it comes to this, and I've been very diligent about attending Zumba and Pole Fitness on a weekly basis. Mondays for Pole, Thursdays for Zumba. Both are great calorie burners and I can tell that Pole Fitness is really giving my arms some good definition. I even rocked a tank top with no cardigan already this year, something I very rarely (if ever) was known to do. I would wear sweaters on 90 degree days just to hide my arms, but now I am proud of them! They're a source of power and strength and I respect them for what they do.

Classes are something I will do, so my goal is to find one more class to add to my schedule, giving me 3 definite days of cardio activity, and adding that new strength routine 2 days, I will have 5 serious days of Activity, leaving me 2 days to find some way to exercise outside. With the turn of the weather, I know that will mean hoop-dancing in the yard, and I'm psyched for that.

I promise to visit this blog more often this week. I am in high spirits and very hopeful to lose my Easter Gain this coming week at my Wednesday WI. I know I can do it.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Weighing in.

Before I get to the results of tonight's weigh in, which - if you simply can't wait - you can see to the right of this post, I wanted to reflect on something.

Just a few days ago, I received a comment from someone I socialize with on a regular basis that really threw me for a loop. This person told me I really "have it all together." All of it. Work, Home Life, Fitness, Health, etc. I struggle to think of why I haven't authentically represented myself to this person, or if they are, for some reason, holding me in some sort of light that helps me to appear this way.

I definitely don't have it all together. The job thing I prefer not to discuss on the internet, my home life is certainly not to be admired, I flake out on my fitness routine on a regular basis and I am still smoking after numerous attempts to quit. I am anything but a role model.

I did learn from this reflection though. I learned that while my best of friends are so sick of my excessive complaining, having that outlet to spew the worst parts of my days leaves me to have positive and insightful conversations with others. It really got me to think about this blog, and how Rebecca mentioned that she does much better with her eating when she checks in to her blog-world regularly. I strongly believe that having a dedicated outlet for my tug-of-war with weight loss really helps to keep me in check. I also realize that my ability to laugh at myself and be honest about the embarrassing things I do actually helps people, as long as you're captivating the correct audience.

There is probably not a single person who subscribes to this blog who hasn't had a day like I had today, where a shoe box of gourmet chocolate crossed my desk as a gift from a donor. This is a relatively new donor who only knows me in the body I have now. People are quick to believe that people easily maintain or have always had the bodies they currently inhabit. Either way, this box contained no less than 1,000,000 calories of delicious decadent chocolate goodies. My immediate reaction was to give it all away, and as I dispersed it amongst my sweet toothed co-workers, I started saving certain bars for myself.

I just HAD to keep the Cinnamon Latte Milk Chocolate bar! Ooohhhh I can't live without a Dark Chocolate Organic Caramel square! Key Lime Chocolate Truffle Bar? Count me in!

The results of this gathering spree are laying on my baker's rack as I type this. Exactly 8 bars of chocolate of varying flavors. That does not include the bag of gourmet M&Ms I ate while catching up on my professional RSS feeds, as well as the 7 Dove Promises (in Bananas Foster flavor!) I also managed to stuff in my face. The craziest part is that I gave away 32 bars of chocolate. The coolest part is that my donor likes me enough to think I am worth a lifetime supply of chocolate.

My strategy is to pare this stash down to 5 bars, slipping a few along with the birthday gifts for my brother and sister, whose March birthdays we are celebrating this Sunday. The remaining 5 will go straight into the freezer, a strategy I practice often with chocolate. I recommended this to my WW Meeting friend Elizabeth who received a very large, very chocolate bunny from her mom in a C.A.R.E. package from Kansas. Frozen chocolate requires gnawing. After a while, gnawing starts to feel desperate and/or obnoxious, so you just stop.

Speaking of the meeting, tonight's topic "Self Control" was actually incredibly timely. As I mentioned earlier, I had a bit of a problem with that today, just one post after my monologue about feeling in control. What happened happened, and while I wouldn't normally recommend this to anyone, I am not tracking it. I did go through the process of determining how many points I consumed (almost 40) from my snack attack today, but I am going to leave it at that and learn from it.

Knowing myself, if I start this week with no flex points, I will begin to get anxious each day after lunch when I see that I have only 8-10 points remaining with many hours left in the day. That anxiety leads to denying myself food I really should be eating, which leads to panic, which leads to binges.

Forgiving what happened this afternoon, learning from it, and moving on (even without tracking) will really help me in staying on track this week. From this moment on, I have a fresh start. I am getting ready to sit down and plan out my menu for the week before making myself a healthy dinner and sitting down to watch a movie and treat myself to a glass of wine.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new day that will be planned. A new day that includes ZUMBA!

And by the way, despite yesterday's tortilla chips and today's massive chocolate overload, I still managed a 1.2lb loss. Hooray!

Ebb and Flow.

For a while there I was posting mostly pictures, but lately I've been really introspective. I'm devising strategies all the time, now that I am officially back on track.

I stopped trying to discriminate between being "On Plan" and "Off Plan." I am always on plan. Always. If I overeat, that's just reality - so it is part of the program. I'm still 100% dedicated to tracking and this week I got over 25 APs. The number is slowly rising back up to it's standard of last year when I was really losing.

Tonight is my WW Meeting. The topic is "Self Control." I think it's a timely meeting for me, because currently I feel I have a handle on it. By discussing this with the group tonight, I'm hoping to solidify and justify my strategies and hopefully share some tips.

I was also talking to one of the trainers at the gym about how to eliminate internal body fat, and after a little question and answer, we decided I simply was not eating enough. This week, I'm going to try to up my caloric intake a bit, but I need to sit down tonight and plan to make all the additional points I add Filling Foods only.

...I ate tortilla chips again this week, yesterday, at my board meeting, the day before weigh in. I'm confident in a loss though. I deserve it.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Trader Joe's and a recipe/experiment.

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining, it was warm(er) and I shopped.

Justin and I finally decided to go check out Trader Joe's, which is relatively new to MN, but we are by far the last people in the city to have walked through the doors. It was insanely busy and a little intimidating. We walked away with 3 paper bags, stuffed to the brims for $60, and then bought up half the liquor store for under $50. Very entertaining.

Here are my three favorite snack finds.

An eggplant was one of the first things I picked up and put in the cart. I had no idea why. I'm not very partial to eggplant, I don't use it often in my cooking, so I decided I should. I wandered around thinking about how I could use it, knowing that Eggplant Parmesan was boring and played out.
I settled on Roulades when I saw that Marscapone cheese was super cheap there.... I found a tapenade to mix with it, and there it was... in my head at least.
Here's my experiment:

Starting with Eggplant, Marscapone, Roasted Tomato/Artichoke Heart Tapenade, Basil and Prosciutto.

Slice the eggplant lengthwise. If you're smart, you'll get 8 pieces. I got 7. (2 not pictured). Salt them up so they can sweat a bit, then pat off the extra salt.
Place under broiler for about 5-6 minutes, or at least until they've browned.
While that's happening, take the Marscapone cheese and put some in a bowl. DO NOT USER THE WHOLE TUB. (I was making something else with leftover sauceyness. For the sake of this experiment, use about 1/4 - 1/2 cup.
Add about 2-3 tbsp of the Tapenade. Be careful to "drain" any additional liquid. You want to just get the chunks in there, or the cheese will lose its consistency.
Take your basil and slice it up.
Add that. By now your eggplant slices should be browned and look something like this....
Put them on a working surface (like the counter or a cutting board) browned side down.
Put about 1 tbsp of the mixture on the smaller end and start rolling it up.
Like that. Then, wrap it in Prosciutto.
Like that. Put them in a microwave safe dish, seam side down and put a little marinara or spaghetti sauce on top if you wish. Add more basil if you want, because that tastes good. Microwave for about 1 minute, and you're gold.
They were pretty good, and relatively low point. I had 2 for dinner with a big salad and some wilted spinach.
Experiments are fun!

Friday, April 3, 2009


I am on the third day of my WW week and I am feeling AMAZING. I am incredibly back on track. I have a full stocked fridge, freezer and cupboards. I have thousands of healthy choices at my fingertips.

I went shopping all day today in the sun. I started at Nu-Look, my favorite consignment store. I had a little bit in my store credit account and I bought a FABULOUS Coach purse, super cute heels, a pair of jeans, 2 tank tops and a long sleeve shirt. Pop over to
per diem fashion for an update sometime tomorrow.

After Nu Look, I spent a lot of time with my sister at her house, catching up and playing with her new puppy. Justin and I spent the afternoon wandering around Trader Joe's. We are certainly the last people in the city to have been there for the first time. It was packed and scary, but we got TONS of stuff for super cheap and then headed over to their liquor store where I got 9 bottles of wine for $44 (and only ONE of them was Charles Shaw!).

I'm spending the weekend at home. I plan to clean, organize and read.

Last night, I made it to Zumba. I got to the gym a little early to walk around the track, but decided to run instead. I.5 miles in 15 minutes, which is pretty fantastic for me! I also did 10 minutes on the Stepmill before class. I filled out my activity sheet for the Meltdown. I'm a little disappointed that there's no way I'm going to get even half the points we're expected to get for fitness this week. There are only 2 days left that can be gym days, and I'm taking today off. I'll for sure be there tomorrow morning though and put in my 1.5 hours of promised gym time.

Here's to momentum!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Chasing the proverbial tail.

CAUTION: Do NOT read if you are currently full of motivation.

I hate to have to do this again. I hate that I come here and have to write about this. I want to write about how I lost at WI last night, even if it were just .2lbs, I would be delighted. I want this blog to be a source of inspiration, a reminder that you CAN do it, and lately - I'm feeling the opposite is true.

I had to drop a couple of blogs from my reader because the authors were always falling off track, constantly, and excusing their struggles as just "things that happen" rather than learning from them and their patterns. Rather than identifying the difficult situations and picturing a solution and making grand attempts to implement those solutions whenever possible.

I can't tell you that I lost at my weigh in.

I can tell you that I'm incredibly frustrated right now. In the 11 weeks since I've joined meetings, I have lost about 3.5 pounds. I have gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost the same 5lbs over and over. Granted, I was being a lazy girl about it for a few of those weeks, genuinely not taking the program seriously. However, the weeks I've lost, I've deserved it. I'm just sore about the WI last night because I attribute it 100% to the margaritas and tortilla chips. I went back over my tracker last night, just to see. I tracked EVERYTHING. Literally. Even when I had 2 pieces of string cheese in a row and was reaching for a third, took a string and then threw it away to stop the binge... I tracked that. It wasn't worth any points, but I put it in there, so I would remember what I was doing and where I was when I felt the need to mainline string cheese.

I'm learning from this week, so it's not a total loss, and I'm not a total baby. My normal advice, which I spew ALL THE TIME, is that this isn't a race. I have my whole life to lose weight and struggle to maintain it. I realize that. It's simply the fact that I was SO close to this small goal that means so very much to me. It's a large disappointment, and to see it thrown away on something so stupid, it's hard.

Jessica and I joined the Meltdown Challenge at the Y to give ourselves an extra push. I think a little fitness incentive (like the opportunity to win money) is just what I need to get my ass in gear. The fantastic part is that 3/4th of what is required for the Meltdown are things we already do for Weight Watchers, though I'm not that excited to turn in my food log for the beginning of this week.... I'm sure the trainers will be DELIGHTED to know that I had tortilla chips for dinner. The neat part is that we get to have BodyFat analysis tests done, and I named our team the "Fempire Strikes Back."

I'm not going to try to make April goals. I only have two things I'm really aiming for this month.

+ Make Exercise Fun Again: I am not setting an AP goal. This month, I want to get back in that spot where I crave exercise and I push myself. I also want to make sure I'm doing a diverse amount of activity. This means: pole fitness, African Dance, Zumba, Wii Fit, Cardio Kickboxing, riding my bike everywhere, walking the dog, running outside, etc. I aim for 30-60 minutes every single day.

+ Find the Lessons: When a week goes bad, like this one did, or a day or an hour... I will sit down, reassess the situation and ask what I can take away from it. Included in this goal is an attempt to monitor my feelings, as the last time I was very focused on that, I was quite successful with not overeating.

I am already setting myself up for success this week. Last night, after my meeting, Justin and I were supposed to go to the Bradstreet Crafthouse in the Graves 601 to sample new martini creations. I had been looking forward to this all week, but I called it off and we stayed in with big bowls of spaghetti and turkey meatballs instead. I was also invited to a fun fancy girl's night on Saturday, which I gracefully bowed out of. Both on account of financial situation and to stay on track. This one hurts though, I rarely get to see these girls, and I never get to dress up, but I am very focused right now (...and broke).

My fridge is STOCKED with tons of healthy choices. This afternoon, between 800 meetings, I am going to try to prepare some food to eat for dinner because tonight I want to try to make time for Zumba.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Whoops.... there it is.

So, I got suckered into a "quick drink" last night for a friends birthday party at Pancho Villa. It literally took me over 20 minutes to decide to go. I debated back and forth about how stupid it would be to go because I had worked SO hard this week and I didn't want to set myself back from the progress I had made.

On the other side of the argument, I was feeling pretty socially stunted yesterday, having been in the house with just the dog for around 28 hours straight.

In the end, I decided to go, agreeing with myself that I would have ONE margarita and then go. I did have one.

Then I had my second. Pancho Villa has 2-4-1s pretty much every single second they are open. I ordered the one margarita, but I got a second one as soon as the first was gone. I could have easily given it to someone else at the table, but of course I didn't. ... and then I devoured half a basket of tortilla chips.

I'm feeling ultra-defeated by this. All of the sodium and sugar are going to totally ruin today's weigh in, a loss I deserved and earned.

Hopefully, fate will shed some light on me and let me have my loss anyway. I'm remorseful! Please forgive me! Let me get my 3rd 10%!

....are you listening?