Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I genuinely enjoy my Wednesday night meetings, look forward to them and participate whole heartedly. I struggle with assisting my mom on her WW journey because she's off plan more often than on, she sometimes approaches the meetings with a completely negative attitude or scoffs at people's comments rather than support and agree.
I need that hour of the week to be a positive safe space for me to explore the world of Weight Watchers and listen intently as well as share my own tips, tricks and troubles.
She took it really well and I have been having a very good week.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Additionally, this morning, I stood outside of Target until opening at 8:00am to get a Wii fit. On an impulse yesterday, Justin bought the family a Wii. We played it all night. I was told to be at Target "first thing" in the morning if I wanted to every see a Wii Fit. They weren't lying. I was the first one in, there were 4 Wii Fits, and they had all sold by the time I was buying milk.
I feel like I am really setting myself up for success by making these investments. Money might not buy me happiness, but it does buy me diversity in my workouts and therefore, buys me fitness and health. I played with the Wii Fit for approximately 25 minutes this morning before Eli or Justin got out of bed and I can tell that this is something I can get in to.
I believe I've talked about how difficult home workouts are for me. I need the gym because it is a place with a focus. When I go there, I am there to workout. My living room, however, has been known as a place to lounge around, talk with friends, lay on the dog and play video games... not a place to get my heart rate up. Perhaps the opposite. Building off the video games idea however, the Wii Fit is fun, interactive and entertaining.
I have decided that for my next reward at 145lbs, I am going to purchase a punch card to Flex Appeal so I can just go whenever I want and the cost is not a factor. Right now, I go when I have a little extra cash. The classes are $20 a piece for 1 hour. That's a lot for me, considering my gym membership is only slightly more for an entire month. I always feel extremely motivated and rejuvenated after finding fitness in something not directly so, and I need to keep that up.
I am on the 4th day of my WW week and I feel like I'm doing awesome. I have 16 APs, and 18 flex points left. I've been eating until I'm satisfied and I even treated myself to a DQ blizzard because I really wanted it. Weight Watchers is by far the most livable program I've ever tried and after 18 months, I still believe that.
Thank you all so much for the support you continually give. I apologize for being horrible at commenting on other peoples blogs on a regular basis because I know it is so important to just know there are other people out there, working with you. I pledge to be better at this. Do know that I am constantly thinking about everyone I know who struggles with their weight, health and overall quality of life. We are working toward a great goal.
Should you ever need help with anything that you don't want to publicly post, don't be shy. Email me at diet(dot)nicole (at) gmail (dot) com.
Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm down to 21 points.
This is all happening really fast for me, since just last week I was at 24 points, I retook the quiz to reflect the amount I've been sitting lately - which dropped me to 22 points, and that THREE.SIX loss dropped me back below 150, which leaves me at 21 points.
This is going to be a grave lesson in creative eating for me. I think the real solution will be stepping my fitness back up to where I was about a year ago, earning 30-45 APs per week. I know I can do this, but I think I'll shoot for 20-30 APs per week to start. I signed up for the daily mile to track my lame attempts at running. If you're on there, email me and I'll add you as a friend!
Eli should be home soon and I haven't yet decided what to make for dinner.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tonight at my meeting I was down 3.6lbs from last weeks gain. THREEPOINTSIX. No matter how I say it, I just can't believe it. During a week I had white castle AND TOM, I lost 3.6 pounds. Remarkable.
Now, the idea... is that I am ONE pound away from my third ten percent goal if I am going by my meeting weights, which I am now, because they are the ones that give me Lifetime Status. If I "started" at 203lbs, which is the weight I was assigned based on my online starting weight of 199 and the fact that clothes (jeans and sweatshirt, etc which is how I first weighed in at meetings) weigh on average 3-4lbs, then my first 10% would have been at 182.7lbs. Second 10% at 164.4lbs and my THIRD 10% will be 148lbs.
I am going to do everything in my power to ensure a loss of at least 1 pound for next week. I think the fact that I got over 20 APs this week (FINALLY, for the first time in forever) was extremely helpful. I need to remember that exercising more means I get to eat more, but that I'm not necessarily more hungry - which gives me some slack for going out.
I also just talked to Justin to tell him the good news, and he had some good news of his own. He has been getting bonuses at work lately due to good performance with saving the company money based on labor versus sales. He got another one today. $650!!! He JUST got one about 3 months ago. I'm so proud of him, I think that's awesome. Hopefully we'll celebrate.
....Just not with food.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
I didn't exercise at all. I was going to go to the gym in the morning, didn't do it. Pole Dancing at night, didn't go.
TOM this morning. This explains my lack of motivation, however, tonight African Dance starts up again and I'm going. Regardless of the fact that it's first day TOM, I'm still going. I need to get some activity.
Even though I did pretty well this week as far as tracking and not going into the red, I'm expecting a gain because of my little friend here. Personally, I'm fine with that, but I'm concerned my leader and receptionists at the meeting think I'm not trying. Although I love love love that my meeting is a big one, I do wish there was a little more one-on-one mentoring. That would be helpful to me.
... Not that I'd listen, I guess. How many times does someone have to tell you the same thing in different ways for you to get it? That's how I feel. I know all the answers, I know what works and what doesn't, I know how to prepare myself, I just don't always do it.
I need to get in action mode again.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Justin and I hopped on our bikes and rode from the Triple Rock to the Guthrie Theater where we met back up with Dad and Jean for an afternoon showing of Two Gentlemen of Verona, which I thought was just fantastic. Poor Justin hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before and slept through most of it. He doesn't care too much for Shakespeare either way, but I totally appreciate his company on this double date.
We jumped back on our bikes and headed home. This wasn't much of a bike ride, maybe 2 miles total, but I'm going to count it as an AP anyhow just because we were biking VERY fast, probably 20 MPH the entire time, which doesn't end up being long when you're only going about a mile.
Shortly after, I met up with Jessica and lil' Joe at my house where we took my dog Jack to the big Minnehaha Dog park. We walked around, but not for too long because the sun was rapidly dropping and being trapped down there by the river in the dark is exceptionally terrifying. It is hard to navigate your way. Jessica tracked our steps around 4k, which I upped to 6k for me, since my gait is significantly smaller than hers. This earned me another 2 APs which we spent quickly on a couple of Milk Stouts on my front porch swing. We chatted outside for a long time. Jessica and I never have much to talk about, but they're always easy conversations. I can honestly say that I enjoy her company above most, and I am very lucky to have her as a friend. As a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, she is so inspiring, but has been struggling lately with maintenance. I hope that I can stay on track enough to help her, even if by just setting an example. I am trying not to push any advice on anyone right now.
We finally got off the porch and headed to the Longfellow Grill for dinner. We split a Goat Cheese Stuffed Chicken Breast + root vegetables and a Salmon Burger + salad. It was delicious. It took the rest of my daily points. I hope I estimated closely enough. Being a relatively seasoned chef now, I just guessed what may have gone into these dishes based on the descriptions and tastes and put them into the recipe builder.
At the Longfellow, I decided I really really wanted to spend some of my extra points on a DQ Blizzard. They are on sale right now, and my television keeps reminding me that during every commercial break. It's been on my mind lately, especially as the weather continues to warm. We decided we would go to DQ and I would get a blizzard and she would get some sort of novelty item.
They were closed.
Blessing in disguise? Probably. We decided to go have a drink at La Belle Vie instead. We sat in giant easy chairs by a fireplace and sipped desserty cocktails. It was extremely satisfying and about 1/3 the points value of a small blizzard. It also lasted a lot longer. Great idea, Jessica.
When the drinks were cashed at La Belle Vie, we headed over to Tickles, the new gay bar in NorthEast to meet back up with lil' Joe. Strange place, strange atmosphere, adorable waiter. I never could decide if he was gay or straight. It doesn't really matter, since I'm not looking, but it was kind of a fun puzzle either way. I had a glass of wine. Just one. I felt pretty proud of myself, especially as I knew I was already digging into Flex points with the martini I had at LBV anyway. After a couple hours, great songs picked on the jukebox and a game of darts, Jessica and I decided to head home.
But not without our trip to White Castle.
This is kind of a staple "end of the night" thing to do when you are coming home from a bar in NorthEast. You kind of ... just have to. I know that's no excuse, and we knew what we were getting into. I ordered 4 jalapeno cheeseburgers. I ended up only eating 2.
All in all, it was tons of fun. I have 5.5 Activity Points left for the week, which means I better get off my butt and earn some. It's a beautiful day, I'm headed to pole dance at Flex Appeal Studios in about an hour. That's not really cardio or anything, but it is really challenging for the muscles. After that, I'll either go to the dog park with Jack again, or take a run around the neighborhood. I may find myself at the gym later this evening, we'll see.
I know that Tuesday I am going to African Dance, so that will help as kind of "Last Chance Workout" before WI on Wednesday. I hope to have my first loss in weeks. I have been very good and strategic, making good choices (aside from White Castle, but we're allowed!) , I've tracked EVERYTHING and I'm getting more activity than I have in previous weeks.
I've been shying away from the idea that warmer weather will make WW easier again, but I think it will. Healthy food is so much more accessible to me when the Farmer's Market opens in the summer. I make a lot of salads and eat TONS of tomatoes. Looking back at my activity level also, there is just a lot of it because I'm able to commute by bicycle, so while I may not count those as APs, at least my body is moving. For now they'll be counted because it is in now way my current routine. In fact, it's kind of hilarious to be back on my bike so much and be looking for the screen that's showing me my RPMs and how many calories I'm burning... it's not there! It's at the gym. Silly.
Long enough post. Sorry to bore you!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Despite all this, I am feeling defeated and motivated at the same time.
I have decided to call in for support. I just spoke to Justin about my goals for the week and asked for him to, in a supportive way, try to keep me on track. I also explained this could become a horrible backlash for him at any given moment, but in the long run I will appreciate it and express that appreciation - just maybe not right away.
I've decided to be honest with myself. While my job during "office hours" is rather physical, walking a massive amount back and forth and lifting heavy objects to and fro, up and down stairs, etc -- that active part of the day really only lasts around 3-4 hours. Some days it only lasts 1-2 hours and the remainder of that 3-4 hours is spent running errands in my car. Aside from the gym, the remainder of my day is spent sitting down behind this computer screen or lounging on my bed petting my dog's belly.
I'm planning. As soon as I am done updating this blog, I am going to sit down at the dining room table with my large magnet weekly calendar that I keep on the fridge. "Back when," I used to use this to dictate my meal plan by the week, writing out Breakfast, Snack, Lunch, Snack, Dinner and Dessert and their associated points values. This really helped me to stay on track, and it also helped me to prepare. If I knew what I would be eating for a snack tomorrow, I could easily prepare it tonight, put it in a baggie and put it in the front of the fridge, eliminating any distraction or self-negotiation tomorrow morning.
I'm rewarding myself. When I began this "journey" I had little rewards written out for every 5-10lb milestone. I haven't rewarded myself in a non-food way in quite some time. While I sit at 152.6 lbs, I fully intend to get a pedicure when I get under 150 lbs again. My first and only pedicure was a reward for a milestone last year, and while I will never return to the establishment I had that done, I did enjoy the benefits. After completing my meal plan tonight, I intend to write out a series of motivating rewards for each 5 lb milestone until I hit my goal weight.
I'm moving more. Last week, I did manage to up my activity from the level it has been in the last few months, which is pretty pathetic. Partially due to the lovely weather we had this weekend and the large amount of walking I was able to do while being productive simultaneously. I also made it to Zumba class, which I hadn't done in quite some time and I really enjoy. This coming week, I have set up "dates" to Pole Dance Fitness, African Dance and BodyFlow. I've explained in the past that having a certain time to be somewhere holds me more accountable. That, coupled with the fact that I will be meeting someone at each of these classes will really up the anty. I also intend to bike to work next week under 3 conditions: 1) it's not raining or snowing 2) it hasn't just stopped raining or snowing 3) it is above 35 degrees. I love biking to work, but the idea of getting started again this year has been daunting because of my laziness. I'm excited to get back in the habit.
I would love to be setting a goal about how I am going to monitor my emotions and attempt to reframe certain habits, however I haven't quite figured how I am going to be about that. I do vow to be ultra-conscious of my feelings this week. I am certainly aware right now, in this moment, that I will not be able to "afford" to eat away stress with just 22 points per day.
Wish me luck.
I retook the points quiz to reflect this reality. I'm now down to 22 points, which I assume will drop to 21 points when I lose this gain and break back into the 140s.
I'm disappointed in myself. I actually had a pretty good week. I even mentioned to Jessica as we were making plans that I shouldn't go out to eat so that I could see some results on the scale to re-motivate me after 2 weeks of gaining. It didn't matter, I tossed the smart decision either way.
I don't feel guilty, per se. That would be stupid. I do feel a sense of regret, both for the wasted calories and the wasted money when we have a whole fridge worth of food here and a cache of recipes just waiting to be made.
This week, I vow to not eat out except for the 2 meals I have planned. Friday night my family is getting together to go ice skating at the Depot and have dinner later at Harry's Food and Cocktails. They do not have a menu online, so I feel like I'm going into that dinner blind, but I will make the best choice I can. Additionally, the next morning, my Dad and his girlfriend and Justin and I will be headed out for brunch at the Triple Rock. This will be an easy one, since about 2 weeks ago I treated myself to biscuits and gravy there, I don't feel deprived of my favorite breakfast food. When I am being "good" and at the Triple Rock, I have a huge bowl of Steel Cut Oats with a little soy milk and a little syrup or brown sugar. It's still about 5-6 points, but that's much better than eating the B&G which I usually estimate to be about 22-25.
I have a somewhat hectic schedule next week, with 2 networking happy hours to attend. I've lost the shame in asking for a diet coke with a lime in a low-ball so that I can appear to be drinking but not actually waste the calories. This has been a good plan for me in 2 ways, a) I'm on top of my game b) diet coke is seriously cheap in comparison.
I'm hopeful for a better week. I will probably while a little later tonight when I see the true number on the scale. I know that I am up. Part of it is superficial from all the sodium yesterday. My leader is going to freak on me. If I gained more than 2lbs again, that's a 5lb gain lately. Is there some sort of 50lb mark slump?
I have faith because I'm back on the exercise bandwagon. While I normally avoid the gym on WI day, I'm going today. If it makes me weigh more, so be it. I have to start working NOW to get to where I want to be next week.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Sweet Potato Falafel with Tomato, Spinach and curried yogurt sauce + Cantaloupe
Thursday, March 12, 2009
However, an extremely positive side note is that I tracked absolutely everything this week. EVERYTHING. Even the SIP of vanilla latte that I had with Justin (it wasn't really a sip, it was 3 sips, small ones, which I counted as .5 points). I'm really really proud to have done this. It was difficult to watch the numbers pile up on the first one or two days, because I had been off track with my eating last week. It amazed me how quickly things can add up and grow beyond the points target I aim for in a day.
I did end the week having used all of my flex points, which can sometimes lead to a gain for me. It obviously did this week.
I'll leave you with some pictures of some things I've ingested in the last couple days.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I spent the night in last night to recharge, keep myself on track and read the book for my Book Club which meets in approximately an hour and a half. I was successful in all of those things, so I'm pretty happy about that.
Yesterday my kitchen churned out : Whole Wheat Flapjack with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter and some cantaloupe (this was what I had for breakfast in an attempt to actually eat breakfast. It was very satisfying), Chili basted roast pork tenderloin with zucchini, red pepper and red onion, Sweet Potato "Falafel" with curried yogurt sauce and my dinner, which was a weird take on a cubano that was not a cubano at all. Apricot Glazed chicken breast (left over) with swiss cheese, deli ham, spicy horseradish mustard and carrots and the last of the cauliflower mash on the side.
Now the kitchen is fully stocked with meals for at least 2 days, and I'm happy about that. It's just long enough to keep me on track for WI on Wednesday.
I am down to 2 Flex Points left for the week. I know I mentioned this yesterday, but it amazes me. To be honest, that's probably actually pretty good for this point in the week and the way I've been eating lately. Just knowing that I am aware of how many flex points I have left puts me at ease because it means I've been tracking. I have tracked every single bite of anything I've put in my mouth since Wednesday. That's hard. It's hard to be honest with myself.
I also set a few rules that I hope will help me out with shedding these last 10 - 15 lbs.
- Eat Breakfast. Everyone knows you're supposed to eat breakfast. I know this, I've read this, people tell me this. None of that helps me to be hungry in the morning. However, I'm finally attempting to stop the late night snacking I've been doing for... well... ever, and I think adding some calories and protein at the beginning of the day will help my body stop searching for extra calories.
- No Eating in the Bedroom after 9pm. 9pm on a weekday is generally when I'm starting to wind down and settle in to watch a little TV before dozing off, if I'm being good. Sometimes 9pm is when I'm leaving the house to go out for a night of debauchery. Either way, I consistently want to snack and eat dessert(s) in the bed while I watch TV so this rule, combined with eating breakfast, should help hinder that. I know I will think twice about wanting a few cookies if I have to stand in the kitchen in my nightgown snacking on them while I miss something interesting on Bravo.
I know it's only been a short while, but having these few days of being OP (in a row!) has really helped me to feel that I'm back on track. I've been surfing around on the message boards again, a forum I typically avoid because I feel like I'm 95 in comparison to the topics of interest for the 20 somethings, but reading about other people's struggles helps me to keep myself in check, if only to feel like I'm better than them. (JOKE!)
Saturday, March 7, 2009
I have 2 flex points left for the week and 8 APs. I better get my butt some more activity.
OR, I could also stop eating so much.
We'll see which I choose, probably both.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Turkey Sandwich + FF Cheese + Spicy Mayo on Light Bun + Cantaloupe + FF Plain Yogurt = 5.5 points
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I did it! I did it! I DID IT! After 7 months being stuck in the 150s, I have broken out! Hitting a milestone like this (especially like this one) is really really inspiring to me for the week to follow. I swear, living on the Weight Watchers program cuts my whole life into 1 week segments, and to be honest, that hasn't been a bad thing.
It really forces me to be present in the here and now and not dwell on past mistakes or think about what *might* happen in the future. All that matters for me is what I can accomplish in the next week to get to my overall goal(s).
I'm feeling really fantastic right now.
In non-weigh-in news, I spent some time in the kitchen today. After yesterday's ridiculously busy schedule, I realized I really need to get back in the habit of picking 2-3 days per week and just cooking everything. I pack it all up in tupperware and I have TONS of healthy choices literally at my fingertips.
Sometimes I even compile my food for the day into little sections in the fridge. For example, say I want to eat Spicy Chicken Stew for lunch. I'll portion out my 1.5 cup serving into a container and I will set it next to my bag of spinach. Since that only has carrots and zuchinni, I should probably add some more vegetables. So, I will also slice up some green pepper and more carrots and put those in a little plastic baggie on top of the spinach and move the dressing there as well. Instant salad. I'll pile an apple and a piece of string cheese on top of that and I have my entire first half of the day sitting in that one corner.
If I can grab everything in one arm full, I KNOW I will stick to the plan. When I have to reach into various sections of the fridge and make eye contact with other things I may feel that I want, (like the can of Reddi Whip) then I'm headed straight into the danger zone.
Today I made Apricot Glazed Chicken breasts (with apricot preserves, lime zest, chipotle en adobe, garlic and ginger), Sweet potato Chickpea salad (with arugula, cilantro, lime zest, rice vinegar, oil, pepper and ginger + feta on top) and Sweet Potato Falafel Sandwiches. I didn't actual compile the sandwiches, but I made the main ingredient so it's accessible to me.
I'm about to make my cauliflower mashed "potatoes" and heat up one of those chicken breasts. Promising pictures for tomorrow.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday night was a "Girl's Night" celebration for little Joe's departure from my universe. He took a new job where he basically travels every single day all the time and will never ever be around again ever. We went out on the town for basically free with a ton of gift cards that came from the VIP bags at the Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine party. I ate lots and lots of small plates and tapas. I DO feel as though I made wise choices and I still stand by that.
Saturday I ate really well. I got in all the GHGs and I made some spicy chicken stew in the crock pot.
Yesterday, however, I ate really well until 4pm when I took my mom out to dinner at Common Roots. I ate a turkey wrap that was somehow Cesar style and had a VERY anchovy taste to it (which is fine with me actually, I really like anchovies). It wasn't my style, I didn't really like it, but of course I ate the entire thing anyway and a large handful of wheaty tortilla chips. I also had a skim miel.
As if that creamy wrap thing wasn't enough, later on at trivia, I had a GIANT beer and Justin and I shared a "Monster Burger." You can guess what that means, because I don't remember. I just know that my half of that burger was probably at least 1200 calories and my arteries are now a little narrower.
However, I did have a massive personal accomplishment totally unrelated to weight loss yesterday. I power cleaned the house up and down. It looks so fantastic. This does have an affect on my ability to stay OP however, because when the house is clean, I am far more relaxed and productive. I enjoy cooking when the kitchen isn't cluttered and I have a much easier time sitting at the dining room table when it's not full of Justin's random stuff. This helps me slow down and eat only until I'm full.
Even though I usually don't set goals for the month, or I do... but don't keep them. I'm going to give this month a serious try.
- Aim for 5 out of 7 completely OP days per week
- Have fun with activity and explore ideas outside the gym
- Arrange meal swap with Elizabeth from my meeting
- Make it to all 4 meetings this month
That's it. Super simple goals. I realize that when I don't put TOO much pressure on myself, I tend to make better choices than when I am being strict.
Though I didn't make it a goal, I really want to try to nix the habit of eating in my bedroom. I know this is where I take in a lot of completely useless calories. I'm going to try cutting that, but I haven't formed a plan yet. When I know, you'll know.
Here's to my first day back on track. (Man, do I get sick of saying that.)