Saturday, July 20, 2013

Day Off.

I've been working so much lately. Saturdays are my only days off, and I live for them.

My birthday is coming up this Thursday, and while I haven't been in birthday mode in the slightest, this week I was inspired to stop fucking around with things that don't make me happy. I have to choose happy. I need to make my own happy.

So I quit that job that I dislike... because, well, I dislike it.

I wasn't really making any money, and socially I was miserable. The crew is a tightknit group of friends and they were just not letting me in, not at all. I felt isolated and lame, and it was not a fun environment.

I'll be done there soon, and I've left very few days for them to schedule me, so I can avoid the toxicity in the meantime.

So, day off. I've been on a roll of getting things done this week. Yesterday, I took my car in for 4 new tires and I renewed my AAA membership. Today I'm bringing the car in for an oil change and new brakes. I'll bike home from the shop and make a giant pot of atar allecha, my new favorite thing. (I like it cold.) It's also finally not OPPRESSIVELY hot here in MN, so I plan to take a walk with my iPhone and catch up on podcasts that I've been neglecting, as well as sit in the sun and finish up a book I've been reading on the train on my way to work.

Tonight we're heading out to Pizza Farm, so I'll definitely update about that tomorrow.

I've been tracking like a fiend, but I've been going over every day. Not OVER over, but over my daily points and the APs I earned for that day. I'm still not in "reign it back" mode, but I am at least being honest and not denying what I've eaten, so that's progress. I still feel mushy, but the workouts are making that thought process less prevalent.

Off to the shop!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Weighing In - 7/18/2013

Previous weight: 
Today's weight:  156.0

This week's results: -0.2lbs

Hey, a loss is a loss. This is really more of a maintain, but it's still good inspiration for reigning things in. 

I did track THE ENTIRE day yesterday, even when I decided to eat something that I didn't have points for. I still tracked it. 

I made it to the gym yesterday and today, and left completely saturated with sweat both times. I've been doing short bursts at the gym; 30-45 minute sessions generally, so I'm going to try to make them count because I don't have a lot more time. I'm trying to create interval sessions that are HIIT for all of my favorite cardio equipment and also make playlists to correspond with each thing so I don't get bored and don't notice how much time is going by. I'm also looking up some new strength training programs so my muscles don't get bored as well. 

On the cancer front, I got my biopsy results back: mild dysplasia, which could mean cancer... or not. No one has called to explain them to me. I'm sitting on it for now. I'll give them a call on Friday if I don't hear from someone today. But... how rude. Don't leave a lady wondering if she has cancer. C'mon. 

I'm headed to the chiropractor today. I woke up on Tuesday with some pain, so I went in that afternoon after work, was adjusted and felt much better. I met with a new doc that I'd never seen before at my clinic, so I'm going back for a re-exam with him soon to discuss reoccurring pain and see what we can do about it. Pretty excited about that. 

The co-op is next on the list, and then I'll be working tonight at the job I dislike. I found out that I CAN pick up another shift at the job I do like starting in August (which is VERY SOON) and I think I'll quit the job I dislike, but I always get nervous quitting jobs. For me, as a student, I just don't have room in my life for things that don't make me money, inspire a lot of fun/make me happy, or provide time to study, and this job is none of those things. Something to think on. 

Hope you have a great week! I'll likely be back to keep the momentum up. 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Flailing and other downfalls.

Today is my first day actually tracking, and I'm only about 4 hours into it.

I've really been slacking lately, as I touched in my last post. I've gone soft, both on my eating habits and quite literally in my chub.

I've been back at the gym, sweating it out, though that doesn't count for too much since I can sweat it out just standing around right now, since it's 95 degrees and 95% humidity here. The air is hot, and wet and heavy.

I cranked out 30 minutes on the spin bike with my intervals playlist, which cycles between a slower RPM on a higher resistance gear and a super speed RPM on a lower resistance gear for the allotted time. Music really fuels my workouts and I love creating the playlists to keep it feeling fresh and inspiring.

After the bike ride where even my ARMS got sweaty, I spent a little time in the weight area working on arms and cycling through squats, lunges and glute bridges. I was done in an hour and burned 412 calories.

Burning calories used to be so much easier when I was really overweight. I could workout for an hour and burn 1200 calories, which I resent some times, but then I take a lot of glory away from the fact that my body is running more efficiently now. A fact that I need to remember when I'm overeating. It's like overfilling your gas tank, it just spills out... in rolls... over the top of my jeans.

My goals for this week, starting today even though my WW week starts tomorrow, are just to track. Just keep on tracking. Good and bad, track it all. Stop with the denial and get back on track.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Weighing In - 7/11/2013

Previous weight:  154.4
Today's weight:  156.2

This week's results: +1.8lbs

Another gain. That's 3.5 pounds in the last 2 weeks. 

Can't say I'm surprised. Yesterday I had a little outpatient surgery. Three biopsies and some polyp removal on my cervix. I've been freaking out about the procedures, and also the possibility of what that could mean when the results come back, so I've been eating quite a bit and skipping workouts. And since the surgery happened yesterday, I spent most of last night eating mass amounts of chips and guacamole. 

Now that the tests have been done and the results will be in my hands in the next week, I feel a little more at ease. 

I'm going to track this week, just to get back on track. 3.5 in 2 weeks is a big gain and I need to reel this in. It's been a long time since I've felt fat. I feel fat this week. Not in that all encompassing, emotional way, just physically. I'm blobby. I haven't been strength training. I've only been riding my bike and phoning it in at the gym. I've been tired all the time and stressed out. 

I want to get back to being pumped up, energized and pleased with the direction my body is headed in. 

Today is not the day for that, I don't have time to get to the gym, but I can keep my eating in check today. 

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Weighing In - 7/04/2013

Previous weight:  152.8
Today's weight:  154.4

This week's results: +1.6lbs

Just as suspected, this week didn't turn out as well as the previous weeks have. I drank a little more. I ate a little more. I slacked on my workouts. It was just an off-week. It wasn't an off-week because I'm not tracking, it was an off-week because it was an off-week. I was distracted. I had some emotional trauma to work through. 

The highlights of this week, however, were getting to spend a lot of time in the sun, both at the job I hate, and also at the beach on my one day off this week. I didn't make very much money, but I did win over some co-workers that had previously been snobby and distant. I made an impression on a manager who has taken me under her wing and given me better shifts, so I can smell the possibility of possibly making some money sometime soon. Someone complimented my hair on what I thought was the worst hair day of the week. I started a book in the morning of that one day off and had finished it by bed time. 

My mother gave me an ancient spin bike that weighs about 700 pounds, and I've been riding it almost every time I feel compelled to watch TV, which makes me feel that I earn my brain laziness with body activity. 

Today is the fourth of July. Independence Day. 

I work this morning at the job I hate, and it is supposed to be very sunny. We are one of the only restaurants in the area that will be open, and there are only two of us scheduled with most of the city having the day off from work. Those who are not out of town "at the cabin" (as we Midwesterners say), will likely stop in for lunch or a beer before their respective BBQs. 

When I'm off work later this afternoon, I'll head out to my dad's annual BBQ/POOL party. I will likely overeat and drink too much, and that's ok. I work every day in a row for 6 days, and I will be on good behavior this week because of that regimented schedule. 

I'm not worried about it. I'm not stressed, and I'm not beating myself up over a gain. I expected it, it's a natural fluctuation, and all in all I am aware and active and things will right themselves. 

Happy 4th!