Monday, September 26, 2011

Is this on?

I haven't been here in a while.

Here is figurative, and also literal, as I couldn't quite remember my last post in this blog. I knew it was a rampage, I knew it was a soapbox speech, but I couldn't remember the topic.

I reread it this morning and I'm still proud to have written it. I'm still proud to have come to those conclusions and to have had the guts to write them here, even if no one ever read them. I still think there is so much fucked-up-edness in this weight loss community.

But I only want to help.

One thing I have learned in the last year is that I can't help anyone if I can't help myself, and the fact of the matter is that I weigh EXACTLY what I weighed back when I wrote that speech. I wasn't giving any attention to actually losing weight, but I was learning to how to eat in moderation, obviously, because I have consistently kept my weight right where it was.

I didn't track my food, and I even ...forgot.... to exercise.

I enrolled in college. I started school after being out of the game for more than 10 years. I got so busy I started forgetting to eat, and that was making me GAIN weight. (Weird, huh?)

Now that I have a lot of my study habits figured out, and I've consistently been getting A's on EVERYTHING I've done in school [hooray, me!], I feel ready to start adding in little habit-changing goals to help me kick-start my journey to a healthier life for my body AND my mind.

My strategy is to start small. Very small, even. The idea is to create goals that are very motivating to me RIGHT NOW: so that I will focus on them intently.

People usually make goal lists to sustain through a certain concrete period... like... the month of October, for example. But it's September 26th, and I want to do this, so I'm just going to do it. There's no point in waiting till October, we all know that drill.

"I'll start on Monday."

Well, not for me. So, here is a list of goals I am going to focus on right now. It's going to become a game, much like that game "I'm going on a picnic" we all used to play in Kindergarten. I will add a goal, and then I'll add another goal and continue working on both, and so on.. and so on.

  • Concentrate on posture.
Right now, I am noticing how slouchy I've become. Because I am in school now, I spend a LOT more time sitting than I was generally accustomed to. I spend a lot of time in class, in an uncomfortable chair, taking notes. I spend a lot of time hunched over a bar stool in my kitchen, trying to read hundreds of pages. I'd like to make a conscious effort to sit up straight and engage the muscles I have.

  • Track what I eat.
While I'm not ready to drastically change my eating habits, I am ready to get a truthful estimate of what I'm already doing. Keeping a tab of my calories and food consumed has always helped me to make better choices as a whole, and you can't know what needs to change until you know what "is."

And that's it. Those are my focal points for this undetermined amount of time, until I feel prepared to make bigger changes. Ideally, I'd like to make these two goals a habit, commit them to memory - like in the picnic game - before I add something else to the mix.

So, I'm off to track my breakfast while I sit up straight.

What goals are you working on today?

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

Hi! Welcome back!
Posture is something I've been working on myself. How funny. It's important though.
Otherwise, I'm just focusing on eating clean whole foods. I feel so much better when I do this. It's a choice I'm making and now that I know I don't HAVE to do anything, it takes the rebellion out of it for me. Each bite I put into my body is a choice. I can choose to eat crap and feel like crap or eat good food and feel good. Lightbulb lol
Keep on posting. I'll enjoy following along again...