Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Going Going Going.

Things have been going great.


It seems odd to say because despite paying for Weight Watchers online last month, I never opened it.

I stopped tracking.

Most of us who've been "around the block" when it comes to weight loss know that tracking your food intake and accounting for it in some way (be it points, calories, etc) is one of the biggest factors in weight loss, and I AM still trying to lose weight.

But you know what? A month has gone by and my clothes are fitting better. I've been getting to the gym on mostly-daily basis and my spirits are at an all-time high. We could say it's because the snow blanket has mostly lifted and allowed us a glimpse at spring. I could say any number of things, but I know the root.

When I am "dieting" I feel trapped. When I am "dieting" I judge what everyone else is eating, comparing it to my plate and either feel shamed or smug. When I am "dieting" it doesn't feel like a choice. It feels like a list of rules. A list of things I cannot do and cannot have.

The reason Weight Watchers has always been so appealing to me (and worked very very well at one point in my life) is because it's dieting without "dieting." It teaches you to eat within normal limits. Well, now I know all that.

I know what I can and can't eat.

What's left is the choice to do what's best for my body.

In the last month, I have listened to my body. What I want to eat at what time. Even when it's an entire chocolate bar, I eat it, and then I listen some more. When I was "dieting," that chocolate bar would be considered a binge. And that binge would trigger more binging because I'd already done it, so why don't I just make it count (aka make it worse). Now, that chocolate bar satisfies a craving. A craving which is perfectly normal. And because I really listened for what I wanted, that craving was satiated. It's gone. The chocolate bar was consumed and I went on with my life. And if I listened hard enough, I realized that I was a lot less hungry at my next meal, and I cut back.

Intuitive eating. I never thought I could get here, and I am certainly no expert. The scale hasn't moved more than 2lbs, but my jeans are sliding on rather than using the jaws of life to pull them. And... I'm happy. That's all I've really wanted.

This can take another 30 years if need be. That's fine. As long as I'm making the healthiest choices for MY body, I'll be happy.


Ann said...

Love this blog!! So happy for you and this awesome realization!! I can't wait to get there someday, too.

Crystal said...

I really really really need to look at this post when I start getting down on myself. As a matter of fact I just got done looking at wedding pics and seeing how skinny I was and am now feeling really bad. It sounds like you have finally passed that crazy dieter point into "normal" which I crave so much. Thank you for this post. I'm going to bookmark it for future reference! And by the way- good for you!! :)