Thursday, October 28, 2010
We all hear about "sympathy weight." Husbands or partners or what have you gaining weight along side their pregnant counterparts.
Well, sympathy weight is very real and VERY real in situations unrelated to pregnancy.
I'm not pregnant, nor is my best friend, but the sympathy weight is attacking us.
My small 2 bedroom apartment, where I live alone, has been dubbed "Breakup Central" this year. I moved in in January, a newly single woman starting life over for the first time in a billion years. It is the first time I've had my own place. Just me. Only me. No boyfriends, no roommates, an awesome bedroom and an office with a futon. Four months later, friend #1 broke up with her LTR boyfriend. She moved in with me. I had become so accustomed to my new solo living life that I had to set the boundary that she leave... soon.
Fast forward 10 months and friend #2 breaks up with her LTR boyfriend. Friend #2, my best friend. She is living here now, sleeping on my futon, laying on my couch while I sit in my chair, while we watch TV drinking beer and eating pizza to cope. Not that friend #1 was not important, but friend #2 is the kind of friendship where you'd get out of bed at 2:00am on the coldest day of the year and drive to be by her side if you needed her. So she's here. And we're eating.
I am not being a good friend in this way. Offering up the pizza and the hoagies and the cake. In retrospect, this has only happened twice. I have cooked, I have provided healthy snacks and breakfasts, but sometimes... you have to splurge in the name of lost love.
And so this week, the first week, has been a bad one. We've had a pizza party. We've had beer (a lot of it) and we've had cake. We've even had cupcakes. But we have biked, and we have stayed up talking and we have slept... a lot.
I'm brainstorming now healthier ways to be supportive so we don't fall further into the sympathy weight trap.
What would you do for a best friend in need?