Sunday, January 10, 2010
Well my friends, I have a unique opportunity.
I'm starting over.
Not with this journey, not with a new job, not with a new haircut, nadda.
I am literally reinventing my life, or so it feels.
For the first time in 10 years, I'm a single girl. Before you get all girlfriendly "oh I'm so sorry" etc etc, please know that this is a very good thing. And as you've seen the loving pictures of me and my partner on this here blog you'll know that no matter what, that won't be broken - even if it is separated into two households. While it's always nice to say "I hope we'll be friends," It's a lot easier to say "I know we'll be friends." and mean it.
It would be really easy for me to feel like my life was crumbling around me, but I won't allow myself to sink that low. Life is now full of possibilities in places where they weren't, and I have the amazing opportunity to live alone. This is also something I have never done. Just me, the dog, and our apartment - which I'm still hunting for.
This also means good things for my physical fitness as I attempt to keep my mindset positive, I've been staying very busy with activity. Yesterday, I attended Aerial Class again and swung on the trapeze and later went to Bikram Yoga class with a girlfriend who had never tried it before.
In all honesty, the Bikram class was like a bad trip. As I allowed myself to relax, my mind wandered - attempting to find a place of silence and relaxation. Of course, it couldn't, because right now I'm in no way relaxed. The great part about breaking down in tears in the middle of a Bikram Yoga class is that no one notices. There are beads of sweat pouring from everyone and who can tell the difference?
It's a loss, no less, and I will grieve and mourn and cry and do all the things girls do when they end a relationship, but for the most part I am feeling strong and empowered, excited for what is on the horizon and where the life I've been creating for the last 2 years will take me.
It was great time to run in to this post through DumbLittleMan. Because I will be having this "fresh start," what do I want to do with it?
I wish I had the list all made out to share with you, but I think it's going to take some time to be thoughtful about it. Intentional. I have never really focused on what I want to do, just me, and only me. It's always been what I'd like to do, but with consideration for what you might want to do too. Or there have always been factors, like making sure it doesn't cut into time with my partner, and all of those other rules we live by in life.
Do you have any suggestions for my list? Maybe there is something I've never even THOUGHT of that I might like to do. I bet you guys have the answers.
I also came across a type of yoga I had never heard of through Nicci at Nicci's Nifty Eats. I did a little research (google) and found a place nearby that teaches Anusara Yoga, which is as much about alignment as it is about attitude - both things I need work on. Any of my Minneapolis readers want to try a class with me?
What would you do if you were starting all over? You can change anything. Any detail. Reinvent your story.