Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Some 'splaining To Do.

Seems I left a whole lot of people out of my plan to take a nice long break from the scale.

The addition of the "40 day break from the scale" to my miniature weight tracker in the sidebar happened yesterday because I didn't want anyone who stumbles on to my blog to think I'm just lazy and don't update my weigh ins. Not so.

When I left for AZ, I knew I'd be missing a meeting (and therefore not weighing in). It was there, in the mountains, I realized I needed a big damn break.

You see, new readers, I've been at this game for 2 years. I've effectively lost more than 40 pounds. Notice how I said "effectively." I've really lost more than 50 pounds, but in the the past month I had gained some of that back due to the brilliant idea to quit smoking during the Holiday season.

I let the scale tell me what to do. It has a certain power. If I'm diligently tracking, working hard, and generally staying the course and it shows me a number lower than my last visit, I go ahead and *reward* myself by eating 5 days worth of calories in one sitting. The next day, when I get back on that scale and it shows me a gain... I binge out of an urgent need to relax.

It doesn't make sense, I know. But for some of you, it will make perfect sense. The anatomy of a binger is difficult to pin down. We eat and eat and eat and never feel full, but the second we stop - we're full of something else.

Guilt.

I wanted to stop that cycle, and since my clothes barely fit around Christmas time, I'm using those as my indicator until my scale fast is up - which will be on the 3rd of February. I will share though, that the last time I stepped on the scale for a brief check in after some majorly damaging eating - I was back up to 155. A 12 pound gain from my lowest weight.

You'll have NO idea whether I'm losing or how much I'm losing for the whole month of January... and neither will I. Instead, we'll chat daily about the different measures I'm taking to stay on track, what's happening in my fitness world, and maybe - if you're lucky - I'll get bored and post some of my super ultra delicious recipes.

I'm up for the challenge, in fact the anticipation is making the whole thing that much sweeter.


4 comments:

Sonya said...

I'm still marveling about how you casually wrote the sentence, "quit smoking". Because in my books, that's the same as climbing Mt. Everest!

You are going to kick some butt these next few weeks, I know it.

Amanda said...

You are the yin to my yang. I just posted today about how I brought the scale BACK becaue its absence was a detriment. Hey, whatever works ;-)

Doug said...

Hate getting burned out on this stuff.

Hope you keep things in control :)

Tiffany said...

Perfect, if that's what you need. I understand completely. The binge would be set off by numbers on the scale for me too. Right now I'm struggling with the fear of success. Blech, the emotional crap we go through on the weight loss journey. Can't wait to see how you do this month. It'll be wonderful I'm sure!