Thursday, January 14, 2010
Free Dinners and Self-Destructive iTunes Playlists.
I'm not in it. For the last 2 days I have been either not eating or eating horribly. I'm not tracking, even with the TRACK ATTACK, and I need to get back there. (Sorry Joanna, you must be bored)
Yesterday, I had 1 slice of bread with an unmeasured but extremely small portion of peanut butter smeared on it hurriedly as I was leaving the house for work at 6:15am. Around 2:00pm I realized I hadn't eaten anything since that and I made myself a quick bowl of granola.
I went to Bikram again yesterday to try to rescue myself from the horrible class I had last Saturday where I both exploded in laughter and then subsequently tears as I sobbed my way through the last hour of class. I want my Bikram back. I was determined for this to be a better class. I even brought along my best friend, Jessica. She had never done Bikram before so I was pretty excited to share it with her. I was totally convinced she was going to love it.
The class sucked.
I'm not just being a negative nelly, and it wasn't either of our faults. It was an instructor I'd never had and he was a total douchebag from the second we got there. His tone of voice was accusatory, totally unwelcoming and totally uninspiring. He basically singled 4 people in class out because they were the names he could remember: Jessica and I were 2 of the names.
I understand that this practice is about perfecting form for some people. Great, that's not why I go. I go because none of my other fitness is even remotely relaxing. I go because it feels like a detox. I go because I don't have to talk to anyone; in fact talking is not allowed. I go because it's something I ordinarily would never do. Either way, I don't go to be the world's best yogi. I suck at Bikram yoga, honestly. Usually I don't like to participate in activities I'm not instantly good at, and I'm really not good at this, and neither was Jessica. Why should she be? She's never done it before, she's in a highly heated room with 25 other people, standing with her head below her heart.
Either way, the instructor made us both uncomfortable and I'm writing a letter. It doesn't sound like much writing out part of the story here, but I'm actually still angry about it so I can't send the letter until I've calmed down some.
Jessica took me to dinner because she's lovely. She also gave my Christmas present (yeah we hadn't seen each other in a while) which was extremely thoughtful: a "thirsty" towel for my yoga mat! For Bikram! It soaks up sweat super fast and won't move all over the place like my stupid beach towel does. The second was a daily planner (love) from Eating Well (love) with tear out recipes on every other page (love). It's safe to say that this is pretty much THE perfect gift for me.
I love writing things down. I can't stop writing things down all day. I already have 3 daily planners and I use them all for different things and I will definitely use this one as well! I'm especially excited about having an arsenal of never-tried-before recipes to bring with me into my new life. I'm going to be VERY open to trying new things.
On that front, the love/lost front, I'm mostly still in survival mode: trying to find cheap furniture that doesn't look like I dragged it from the alley behind a house - which I have no problem doing. There are just a bunch of things that I need, and a lot of things that I want. Need comes first. Want comes later.
I'm sorry I'm so boring this week guys. There will be very exciting adventures to come relatively soon, but we may be in a non-exciting dry spell for a bit while I kind of pick up the pieces and get my stuff together.
If I don't blog for days, don't be surprised or concerned, but feel free to email me if you're just going nuts wondering what's going on.