Saturday, December 12, 2009

21 and three three three.

This is my 333 post which seems significant for some reason, it's not of course, but we'll pretend.

I haven't felt much like writing this week. I've been fully immersed in all of my new books and my new found motivation and steadfastness. I'm extremely proud of how well I've been eating this week as well as the fact that today is my 21st day of being smoke free! That's three weeks (hence the 333 significance).

Rebecca at Durch DICK und DUENN had a fabulous post on Friday that summed up a lot of what I'd been thinking about for the last few weeks (possibly months). I've been on this weight loss journey for a while now (2 years as of last Monday). I've accomplished a LOT (more than 50lbs lost)! Sure, it hasn't happened as quickly as a lot of other bloggers, but I'm more than satisfied with it. I figured out how to work the program to fit in to my life which is why I've maintained, gained, lost, and anything else that can happen on the scale. It's not yo-yo dieting so much as participating fully in the things I felt were important at the time and I wouldn't take them back if I could. It's been an amazing learning experience. I needed to fall all of those times so I could get back up and come away with an important lesson. It's not reasonable to count every calorie every day and hole up inside the house where cookie temptations can't get to me. That is not living. Life is full of cocktails, cupcakes and burgers.

I started this journey because I wanted to live a fuller life, and I'm doing just that.

And like Rebecca, I'm happy with my body right now. I don't look at the mirror and despise what I see, so naturally my motivations have changed as time goes on and weight comes off and muscles become more and more prominent.

For me, however, I must reach that goal weight. For a few reasons...

  1. I am not yet in a healthy weight range for my height and I would LOVE to see a "Normal" BMI. [mostly out of spite for insurance companies]
  2. I set a goal. I am not a quitter. I would really like to see this through and know I've accomplished something gigantic - exactly what I set out to do.
  3. I must reach my goal weight and maintain it in order to be a Weight Watchers leader, and this is something I really want the opportunity to do.

I know a lot of the people in my life are trying to be helpful or supportive of the struggle when they say "You probably don't need to lose those last 10lbs," or "You're already so much skinnier!" but that (to me) would be like walking back down Mt. Everest when you're 2 miles from the peak. You still climbed Mt. Everest, and that's an accomplishment in and of itself, but you didn't see it from that prideful peak. You robbed yourself of an incredible experience because you could see "most" of it from where you were. You never know what you're capable of until you just do more.

So, press on I will.

I have eaten 21 points (my daily target, like a caloric goal) exactly every day this week. I'm ecstatic. I'm hoping to treat myself to a little something special for dinner tomorrow night since I probably need the extra calories. I've had fantastic workouts this week and it really is satisfying to see the APs (activity points) pile up and still have that whole 35 point WPA (flex point - a bank of extras to use throughout the week if and however you choose) cushion. My head is absolutely on straight. Just for Today I've got it all together.

I can't imagine a point in my life where I wasn't striving for something better (weight loss or not), which is why I need to keep on keepin' on.

Are you really satisfied where you are or do you want more?


Meet Virginia said...

I love this post Nic! This is exactly why I like your blog.

I have never agreed with the comments that I see telling you that you don't need to lose anymore, for the exact reason that you described. The Mt. Everest analogy is so true.

You are going to make a great WW leader.

Tiffany said...

Love the Everest analogy too :) Congrats on 21 days...that's a huge accomplishment in and of itself. Sounds like you had a great week, hopefully the scale responds favorably. Keep movin' forward.

Rebecca said...

thanks for the love Nic!!

I feel as a weight loss blogger, it's so hard sometimes, I mean sure, you/me wants to lose the weight but then once your successful, all these other people want you lose weight and inspire them and wow.. that responsibility as well as your own expectations can be so much.

and this time, I'm really aware of making sure that any change i make really is for good. I can't come back and have to re-lose the weight a 2nd or 3rd time.

life really is cocktails, cupcakes and burgers and you know what? we SHOULD ENJOY them!

you'll reach your goal, i know this!

totegirl said...

Hey, you don't need to justify those last 10 pounds. I'm super happy where I am, but I want to see the number 135 on my scale at least once, just because I don't want to rob myself of that opportunity, just like you said. You are making me write run-on sentences, but it's because I am EMPHATICALLY agreeing with you. It bears repeating: You rock.