Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Power of Mood.

Remember yesterday? My bike was parked in, it was ridiculously hot... I was nervous/anxious about dinner.

We did end up canning the idea of going to the Blue Door Pub, which was bittersweet. Instead, ended up at the Happy Gnome, which is one of our favorite restaurants. Justin was running late, so it was just me and his dad waiting for a table.



Sitting at the bar with no menus and not even a nod or a promise of service at some point in the near (or far off future).

I was starting to get really upset, and slightly embarrassed, especially because we had talked up the restaurant so much to get Larry excited about the switch to something that was not burgers... Literally 24 minutes went by (yes, I was timing) before any drink menu made it in front of us. Justin showed up, 10 minutes to actually get their beers, hostess comes up to seat us, but I'm still emptyhanded.


They leave to find the table, and I agree to meet them after I pay for the first round and get my drink. The whole point was - it was literally 40 minutes FROM THE MINUTE I sat down in a barstool to the minute I had a drink in my hand. I did pipe up and talked to the manager, so that helped ease that.

We were sitting outside on the patio and the heat and humidity were starting to get to me. I was feeling antsy and uncomfortable. There was a 4-top of absolute douche-bags seated behind us. Men in their 50s, polo-shirts with the collar popped talking about how to hide sext-messages from their wives and which hotels they frequent with young co-eds. Did I mention they were smoking cigars?


I made a wise choice with my sandwich, or so I thought. It ended up not being exactly what I thought and I had no idea how to point it out. I also ordered a spinach salad to try to make up the difference in veggies, as there were none.


Because I was hot/annoyed/uncomfortable/frustrated/embarrassed/angry I decided I wanted a beer. I don't just drink beer, I drink dark beer. Porters and Stouts, generally coming in around 4 points a pint.

I had one.

The d-bag table kept getting louder and louder, I was getting more uncomfortable from the heat, cigar smoke and extreme sexist chatter. At the end of the meal, it somehow seemed like a really good idea (despite the fact that there was a very obvious food pregnancy going on under my dress) to get ice cream.

Real Ice cream.

Full fat ice cream.

Delicious Ice Cream.

Sad but true, the Salted Carmel waffle cone with a Hot Brown Sugar izzy actually lifted my spirits. It lifted them SO well, that I agreed to join Justin at the Nomad where we were meeting friends attending trivia.

I didn't have a drink there, but I did sit and think (uncomfortably) about how worthless the last couple hours had just been. I felt guilty, I regretted my choices and I was starting to get angry again, this time with myself.

It's time to nix this negative self talk, though. Where does the guilt ever really get us? For me, it seems to just breed more intense mood swings which lead to more mistakes. I never really forgive myself or let it go. It's time to move towards that.

Why should I feel guilty for eating ice cream? Yes, I realize it was not in my meal plan. Want to know why I ate it? Because I didn't have a meal plan!!! We were going out to eat, and I didn't know where. Because there was no plan, my mind (and tummy) decided that we could have a little extra treat, especially as a reward for earning those 8 APs (which probably didn't even cover the first lick of ice cream.) Lesson learned? I *really* depend on my meal plan. Plan better, even in short notice. Seriously.

I wholly accept responsibility for being uninspiring today, but I think it's important to remember that we have such a strong attitude toward food, in the way we consume it, for what reasons we consume it. Mood has so much to do with whether or not you will even enjoy something you are tasting.

Don't let a bad mood ruin your food.

If you're irate, push away the plate.

Trade chocolate for a plum if you're glum.

Enough cheesiness. Today is a new day, I woke up on the correct side of the bed, and my week is not over. I still have time to feel like I made a valiant effort toward my goals. I have earned 23 Activity Points so far this week and tonight is Power Pole Fitness. If I work hard, I can make it to 30 and I will be proud of being able to pull this off 2 weeks in a row.

Coming tomorrow... new weekly goals!


kristen said...

I still have problems with consoling myself by eating ice cream. But like you, I'm starting to believe that it doesn't have to be a problem. So what? If we have ice cream once in awhile to help keep our sanity, so be it. Move on. Lord knows I would have had to do something to keep me from going off on those d'bags that sat near you at the restaurant last night!

It's not realistic to think that eventually we'll ALWAYS be able to have a mean plan, that we'll ALWAYS be prepared for our food "situations." That's real life. And that's why we have to make sure we take care of ourselves to the best of our abilities when we can control them, so when times like last night pop up, you'll be able to enjoy a beer and some ice cream without guilt. That's balance.

antgirl said...

We all have them days, those moments.

Don't dwell on it. If you're going to have a beer, have one you like.

It may slow your progress, the indulgences, but it's not going to stop you.

I would have had to request a different table or leave if those guys were near me. That showed restraint.

fattygetsfit said...

In a group therapy session today, I told my patients "If one egg gets broken, you don't have to purposely break the other 11."

Ice cream is good. One bad day doesn't have to equal giving up and f*ing up your whole week. Good for you for staying focused!!