Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Thoughts from the Desk : Three in a row.

I'm feeling very inspired today.

I finally feel like maybe I can make this work, even if just for Today. I have my meal plan set, I'm going to my meeting tonight, I'm going to face the scale. I want to come up with something to say to myself before I step on. Something to remind me that this doesn't mean I've failed, but that I've given myself a new challenge and I need to step it up.

My last day of "freedom" didn't go as well. The first half of the day I was completely OP, but then I had a date with a small serving of Reduced Fat 'Nilla Wafers. I tracked them... but then I ate another serving. When I went to track it, I didn't like the number so I just left it off.

Why do I do this?

I'm very frustrated with the way my mind works in that aspect. As if I think not putting it into my points tracker will mean that I didn't really eat that. As if making up a new number somehow magically makes it true? Last night, at a networking function I was hosting, I had 2 champagne cocktails, a chocolately martini and a bbq pork sandwich without the cheese. I didn't track any of this, but I'm telling you right now. I'm not going to track it either, because today is a new day, it's a new week and I'm back on track.

Obviously I didn't follow through on my second Two Week Totally OP Challenge. But I'm starting a new challenge with myself, similar, but with different rules.

Just for Today Challenge
  • Get in all of the Good Health Guidelines (GHG)
  • Half of my daily points target (24) will be filling foods
  • Earn at least 3 APs
  • Track every single thing that passes my lips

For every day that I am able to complete all of these rules, I am going to put $1 in my fishbowl. (I don't have a fish, so it's really a dollar bowl.) When I am able to complete 5 JTC days in a row, I am going to treat myself to a latte at my favorite coffee shop, and actually get it "for here" and read.

It doesn't sound that exciting, but its something I really enjoy but never have a chance to do.

Part of me is excited to see what I'm working with at my meeting tonight. I'm bursting at the seems wanting to talk about what I did and try to get advice from people, but with my Mom attending the meetings I feel uncomfortable. It's a shame, because I don't think I'll get what I need out of them if this continues. I don't mean to blame here for it, because only I can control my actions, but I fell off the wagon the week she came to meetings. I spent so much time focusing on her, and her WW journey, answering her calls, helping her shop, etc... that I never had time to focus on mine.

Plus the parties.

I want to be a good daughter and a good support system, but I also need to be that for myself and find that for myself.


kristen said...

I like the idea of having a "mini challenge" for yourself every day. Soon the challenge will become a regular part of your day, and then you can add to it! Slow and steady wins the race :)

Rebecca said...

i hear you about being the support system for your mom.

i feel that way too especially since she needs a lot of hand holding. i just feel like i cant give her that right now. i battling my own struggles.

i definately like how your focusing on today and today only. i need to do that again.. even if its only the moment.

antgirl said...

I did it by tackling one issue at a time. I still have a problem with the evening nosh monster. I mostly deal with that by planning snacks and at what time I get to eat them. I find doing something different helps, even being in a different room. So, trial and error until you figure out what works best.