Friday, February 6, 2009

Thoughts from the Desk: Relapse

After reeling from my 50lb milestone, I had a body confidence relapse today in the "Intimate Apparel" department of Macy's.

I am in desperate need of bras and I wanted to get a new professional fit to be sure I was wearing the correct size, as it's been about 6 months and 15lbs since my last fitting. I had a literal breakdown in the fitting room after trying on 37 bras (SO not kidding about this number) and not finding a single one to contain the excess. I know that sounds gross, and I'm actually really proud of how incredibly toned I am keeping the rest of my body, but you can't lift weights with your boobs. You just can't, I've tried.

I know this is just a reality of going from a 40 E to a 38 DDD to a 36 DDD at last measure... as of today I am a 32 DD or 34 D, depending on brand and/or style. I left empty handed and teary eyed.

I'm back in high spirits, but it pains me to think that for about 25 minutes I was gently considering the idea that a little bit of weight gain (assuming I could target it to the ladies) might be a good one. It especially did not help when the saleslady told me that I should start considering surgery so I could still look feminine. Really? Thanks Macy's lady. She also tried to sell me a bra that looked like something Madonna would wear circa 1987, so I'm not worried about her professional opinion.

Either way, I spent a good portion of the night in the kitchen preparing things to nuke over the weekend. It's going to be a busy and exciting one but for tonight I am staying in and laying low.

I prepared: Quinoa Caprese salad, Chicken-Roasted Garlic-Spinach couscous, Butternut Squash with Apricot Jam and Parmesan Spinach Fettucinni.

Everything is tucked away in tupperware, ready to eat when the craving hits.


kristen said...

Screw that stupid Macy's employee, what does she know? Have you considered going to Victoria's Secret? Their bras are a little more expensive, but I find they can last forever. Plus, I would assume those employees have a little more experience - and tact - when it comes to finding new sizes for a woman.

Those dishes you made sound delicious! I'm hoping to try quinoa for the first time this week. I'm actually off to the market soon to pick up some butternut squash and spinach. Gotta love having healthy options on hand, makes things a no-brainer!

Joanna said...

That is such a bummer. Also, that lady from Macy's sounds like such a fucking idiot. I did want to suggest Gap Body. I am irregular in that I was a little bigger but with tiny boobs and I found that there bras seemed to have a better range in terms band size and cup size. Plus my bustier friends swear by them.

I think shopping for bras is a million times worse than any form of shopping. Keep your chin up, you are looking great!

antgirl said...

It is a tricky part of the body to keep fitted during all the flux. I just redid mine. I had to try on a myriad of sizes and styles, too. Luckily, I had no clueless lady yammering at me. Why do we need surgery to feel feminine? Aren't we feminine already? That's silly.

nic said...

kristen: VS bras tend to be "sexier" which means less full coverage selection - which is really what I need to solve this problem. Thanks for the suggestion though! Good luck with the quinoa!

joanna: Jessica loves them too! I've never found them to fit me well before, but perhaps that's changed with my shape. I'll give it a try!

mep: I agree.