Monday, February 23, 2009


I have fallen so far off the damn path, I literally feel lost.

What once was second nature to make a good decision has fallen by the wayside and old habits are winning every single time. I have literally eaten bar food for 3 out of the last 5 nights. And not just a couple of bites of someone's fries, straight up burgers, tots, mayo, seasoned sour cream, oh my.

What am I doing?

I don't even really like bar food. I like it's convenience, sure, but it doesn't taste that great. Ok, that's a lie. 2 out of those 3 meals were REALLY REALLY good. And one was a grilled chicken sandwich, so still a better decision than a burger... sort of.

This is a lesser of two evils game as you get into it for the long haul. I really want to blame TOM because I have been cooking all weekend. There were healthy options around, but it wasn't what my body wanted. Even though I searched... sort of... for suitable solutions, in the end the grease won.

I've decided that today I can eat whatever I want if I just get up and go to the gym. So far, I've eaten nothing. I AM going to go to the gym for a full-on workout, and I'm guessing that's going to inspire me to stop being such a lazy weight watcher.

Any advice you have to offer to knock some sense into me is welcome. I feel totally lost.


kristen said...

I think you've got the right idea- go to the gym. I find that when I go, I'll usually end up wanting to eat a little healthier so I don't cancel out the effects of my workout. Then go to the gym again tomorrow. After two or three days you'll want to keep up the routine and you'll start feeling better about yourself.

Are you drinking enough water? Sometimes we think we're hungry when we're actually thirsty. When you think you want a snack, drink something first and wait a few minutes. Sometimes you'll realize you're not hungry, and sometimes you'll forget you were looking for a snack at all.

Do you journal? I told myself I have to start doing that again today (I use Sparkpeople). That usually helps to keep me focused too.

nic said...

The real problem is that I eat when I KNOW I'm not hungry. I'm totally and completely aware I'm eating just to eat.

That's where the problem is.

I used to be able to fight that off. I'm at such a standstill. I've been doing this for over a year now. I'm just bored.

I have to figure out how to change it up. I have all the tools to be successful, I'm just bored with it. Does that make sense?

Tamzin said...

well... how about this.

When I found your blog and saw your before and after pictures I cried because you made me beleve that there will be a time when I can actually look like you do now. I was never sure that it was possible to change that much. And you showed me that it is.

I'm struggling right now - each bad choice I make spawns 3 more. But I know that I can get back on track.

antgirl said...

I'd say, one issue at a time, get yourself into a balance where you can stick.

Sometimes I'm just plain hungry. If I let myself get too hungry, I reach for whatever is convenient. Then I tell myself stuff like, pampering and treating myself is taking care of myself not feeding myself crap. Sometimes it works. :)

nic said...

Thank you, Tamzin. That really really touches me.

Sometimes, if I remember I am setting an example for people in my life (my mom, my friends, Eli) who need to be aware of their health... that helps me to stay on track.

1LB to the Goal said...


Just look how far you've come! No going back now :)

Jambam said...

Sounds like our weeks weren't very different.

I think a lot of it has to do with it being February in Minnesota. Everyday you feel like your trudging through everything, and what's better then some hot salty meaty silver lining? Plus, it seems so down in the doldrums that the bored, restless feelings of spring fever come out, and in my case, manifest itself in chocolate, etc.

Food is such a comfort during this time of year, it's hard to stay away.

Spring is a huge motivator for me right, thinking about wearing bathing suits and short skirts and tank tops. I want to feel strong and lean and those thoughts are really helping me put down the bad things. Hope that's helpful. We are going to get through this!